The Little Things.

And it goes like this..

2011-08-25T16:48:00.002+08:00

well i'm cruisin down my own street

and my hoochie says to me,

'you better hang on to your bench seat,

i'm gonna take you for a ride'

story of my life:

knowing exactly where i want to go, yet finding it hard to figure out how/where to start. it's funny how the largest amount of effort i invest into anything is always at the start. high inertia. now that's my muthaf***** problem. i feel like a friggin' boulder now (which, i might add, sooo does not help my get-a-smokin-hot-body-plus-rock-hard-abs plan)

With Gentle Hands and the Heart of A Fighter

2011-06-11T16:54:00.004+08:00

all the other models bottling like mamas bottle tasty
if you pop my bottle all the models gonna hate me

It's funny how I always forget. Like the important things. Especially when I'm happy, yeah I always forget. The important things like my God, my family, those few good friends that I've been through hell (or soemthing like that) with. I often forget them. I try and find some good in it; like it's good to be move forward and be focused in getting what you want. But then, I think about it again and I realise that if getting what I want means it has to be at the expense of so much more, then that I'd have so much to lose, wouldn't I?

At this in point in time, I start to wonder if it is all really worth it. I don't know, maybe there's another way around all this, you know? And maybe I just haven't found it yet. But all these maybes means more time, anyway, and that is something I clearly cannot afford at this stage.

So I guess I'm back to square one, and I'm trying to weigh things out. Trying to find that delicate balance and that comfortable sweet spot between wanting more and keeping everything that I have. It makes me sad when I think about it because it seems as though there is no such thing. It's like desiring Utopia - everyone wishes, prays and fight for it, yet the flawed nature of God's creation and this flawed world we exist in will never allow for it. So many things are arguable, but this is not; it simply cannot be done :/

So if looking down on the path I walk on and trying to find clues that's going to make my journey easier isn't exactly going to help me overall, I see no point in trying to. I can see that end-point, you know. And I make it a point to always remember how it looks like so I can remember exactly what I'm fighting for. But all this while, I've been slowing down every few steps so I can look up to get a glimpse of it again, to kind of step back and give it a long hard look, and then I'd go through that whole process of wondering if it's all that worth it and how much pain I'd have to go through to get it etc etc... Unnecessary. Purely unnecessary.

It's been a bumpy, uncertain ride but I can honestly say, I've had enough. I think too much and in this case, with all the time I have left, I realise it's very unfeasible. Maybe after everything's said and done, I could lay down lazily on my bed and dream of rainbows and ponies and knights in shining armours etc etc.. But until then I cannot afford to be the person I'm so used to being. These are hard times and I know there's much at stake if I move on. But perhaps there's more to lose if I don't. That's a future and a possibility I don't know and I'm not prepared to find out anytime soon. So here's to me.

I used to think I couldn't survive if I didn't hold on to something. I guess I was wrong.

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-yay, my oh my what a wonderful day.

2011-01-09T13:19:00.004+08:00

i'm gonna live my life
shining like a diamond
rolling with the dice
standing on the ledges
i'll show the wind how to fly
when the world gets in my face, i say
HAVE A NICE DAY

I'm happy. What an inappropriate time, haha. I really shouldn't be. But I can't help it; I am.

I AM HAPPY(:

And I shall go off to sing a happy song now.

When the role is called up yonder;

2011-01-05T16:59:00.003+08:00

it's in the water, it's in the story
it's where you came from
the sons and daughters, in all their glory
it's gonna shape them

I hate it when people judge each other just because they have different religions; and for the record, I don't even hate stuff, in the first place, because I don't mean the hate. So, yes, I am rather peeved this time. It's akin to a group of people liking oranges waging a "holy (fruit) war" against a group of people who like apples. Okay, fine. Perhaps, it's not as easy as that and ideologies contain more sensitive elements of humankind than fruits - but you can still sense the ludicrousness, nonetheless. It is not nice to be mean to people who have different views or opinions than you do, children. Don't they teach you that in school? Don't your parents teach you that? Do you even go to school or have morally righteous parents, in the first place? Why can't the world just get a long, for God's sake (whichever God (s) they choose to believe in)? Suck in the very-uncalled-for pride we have and move on with life man. PEACEFULLY at that (in case some sillywags didn't get it the first time round). Let's do this for the greater good, kids - the benefit of all mankind so we won't have wars and other petty and unnecessary arguments. It'd be hard due to the very fact that we're all flawed human beings, but let's just try, shall we? Sigh. Some people just reeeeeally annoy the heck outta me :/

Head First.

2010-12-31T19:01:00.003+08:00

there's a wild, wild whisper blowing in the wind
calling out my name like a long lost friend
oh i miss those days as the years go by
oh nothing's weeter than summertime
and american honey

Last day of 2010!!! Thought I should do my blog some justice a few minutes ago, so here I am. I don't feel like doing a reflection so I'm just gonna get to it:

Dear 2011, let's do it real big; bigger than I've ever done it.

1. 6As for A-levels
2. Gold for 400m hurdles (or 100m hurdles, whichever I edns up doing in the end)
3. >2200 for SATs
4. Don't grow fat, eat less junk
5. Facebook only once-a-week
6. Go to bed by 2300 hours every night
7. Stick with night exercises in a more disciplined manner
8. Spent less than 20-minutes in the shower every morning
9. Be nicer to my Mama & Hannah
10. Talk back less with Papa
11. Love God
12. Love my family, my class, my track team mates, all my other friends, my teachers.
13. Pray more
14. Play less
15. Be a good role model to the lil kids (J1 & below)
16. GO HARD (:

♥ Nazirah.

2010 has beeen memorable in its own special way. A lot of life-changing things happened that I'm truly grateful for. There were the favourable & unfavourable moments, but I'm thankful for it all, nonetheless. I think I've reached that phase in life where I realise I'm getting older and the room for mistakes just keeps getting smaller. In some miraculously way, though, the task of differentiating right from wrong and making decisions with your head, instead of your heart, becomes easier. It's still, essentially, a challenge for me many a times but I think I'm improving. I'm beginning to get it. That doesn't mean I'm liking this "grown-up" world any better though. It's... not exactly pleasant. Necessary for my development as a person, no doubt, but still I'd opt for something else if given the choice :/ Making decisions that have significant impacts on those around me takes a toll on my sanity after a while. I'm caught up in a battle I don't even want to be in in the first place. But hey, that's life - a constantly-swirling vortex of insanity right smack in the centre of a whirlwind of unpredictability. HAHA, what a mess! Anyhow, I guess I'll be moving on to the vortex of 2011 with a smile (: It's a battle I'm ready for this time, and my sole option is to stay at the frontline. No falling back!

I hope I make it out alive.

Sweet dreams are made of this.

2010-12-19T16:52:00.004+08:00

come on over, drink my wine
waste my candles, waste my time
tell me lies i won't believe
just don't wake me when you leave
come on over, kick me to the ground
and kiss me when i'm down

Trying to painfully complete the critical thinking exercises for GP on the LMS. Man, they're boring :/ And SATs are coming on real fast and hard. January 22nd next year, which leaves me with about 3 proper weeks of preparation? Training's going full force also now. It sounds kinda sad to many people I guess, but I actually like this kinda life. Study-train-study-train-eat,poop,shower. It's simple. And not a lot of emotions can get in the way. Other than the times when I feel lazy to the bones and wake up at noon on non-training days (I seriously need to stop that btw >:( ), I think I'm doing good. There's still a lot of of gaps to fill and stuff, I won't lie. But we getting' there!

Whoever tells you that earning yourself a good life is easy, THEY LIEEE.

Hello World.

2010-12-07T15:07:00.001+08:00

hello world, how've you been?
good to see you, my old friend
sometimes I feel as cold as steel
and broken like I'm never gonna heal
i see a light, little grace, little faith unfurl
well, hello world

Landed in Singapore from Taiwan at 2347 hours yesterday. It was quite sad for me, I guess. 6 days came and went, and I realised I loved my class to the very bits. Went for CCAAB, which was awesome and memorable in its own way, then to Bintan which was amazing and unforgettable too. But nothing beats this Taiwan trip. A lot of things, both life-changing and not, have happened in this last one-and-a-half months that I'll treasure in all my years to come. The Taiwan trip just felt like an accumulation of all these and my heart fills with warmth whenever I think about it. Sadness too, but the warmth makes it all feel better, nonetheless. Life is going on so fast, it's starting to get overwhelming haha. Studying and training starts full force from today onwards. Oh and did I tell you I'm moving house late this month? Yeahhh. So much to do, so little timeeeeee. But He shall see me through all of this, like he always has ♥

I don't say this often enough - thank you God for giving me a life worth living, I love you.

Sugarland - Stuck Like Glue

2010-10-17T13:09:00.000+08:00

there you go making my heart beat again,
heart beat again, heart beat again;
there you go making me feel like a kid
won't you do it, do it one time?

there you go pulling me right back in,
right back in, right back in;
and i know i'm never lettin' this go;
i'm stuck on you.

woah oh woah oh, stuck like glue
you and me, baby, we're stuck like glue

Future Love.

2010-10-16T12:33:00.000+08:00

oh can you feel the gravity falling,
calling us home?
and did you see the stars colliding,
shining just to show we belong?

I think I've finally realised what I wanted to do with my life. You know how some people spend their whole lives trying to figure out what their purpose in life really is? I think I've been blessed to realise what mine is at 17. God, I've felt so sure of anything before but I think this is it! It's gonna be a tough ride, I know. And I foresee everyone thinking I'm crazy and going against it. Last night, all the worst (I think)-case scenarios played in my head, but I guess I'm not gonna care about any of them. It'll be difficult but I think I'm ready! Like I'm not afraid of anything anymore. Come what may:

I'm going to travel the world and help people I meet along the way. I want to be a humanitarian in a one-man organisation. I can't stand living in a city like this and the idea of a 9-to-5 job is enough to make me drop a hammer on my foot ON PURPOSE. All the materialistic aims that fill my life now make me sick. I'm so safe and comfortable and (kinda) secure here in this world of mine that I feel so confined. The only thing that keeps me going are the challenges, the adventures, the excitement and the constant need to prove myself. So why not turn this into something for the better good of everyone right? Haha well this humanitarian thing is still mostly a dream and it's very much easier said than done, I guess. But I have this like bursting passion in my heart for it and it makes me want to cry really bad. I can. And I will. I shall still get a degree first because one, my parents would kill me if otherwise and, two, it's a good back-up plan. But, eventually, I'll leave. Man this thought is scary! Hahaha but I'm excited and sure and excited and hopeful and and and I just wanna get on with it! Oh, and no I'm not turning into a hippie.

;D

Life, Hope & Letters

2010-10-09T14:51:00.005+08:00

i was born to try;
born to love, be understanding, and believe in life.
but i was born to make choices, wrong or right
sometimes you gotta sacrifice the things you like
but i was born to try

Everyone's posting something about their Promo Exams. I thought about doing the same. But I didn't like the way it went. So I'm not going to :P Watched 'Eat, Pray, Love' with the usual suspects after Geog paper on Thursday. I thought it was quite good. It wasn't exactly brilliant or anything, but it was what the doctor prescribed, you know? A perfect dose - a movie about breaking free. It's a bit too idealistic, I guess. But everyone needs to watch an idealistic movie once in a while and realise that there's so much more to life than just _______ (fill in whatever your life is currently revolving around here). (: Well now that I'm really bored with life and there seems to be nothing worth doing other than catch up with training, I came acroos an old, familiar song by Corinne May.

Sometimes I wonder what lies ahead
How long till my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
So many people on this merry-go-round 

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer, To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and I try to pray
In the silence I can hear Him say 

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time 

I often feel like I'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I'm stubborn in the things I believe

Cause maybe there's another plan
One I still can't see
A little surprise, like your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see 

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

(((: And so I have decided that I should start writing letters to people again in these few days before school starts again. I haven't done that in a really long time; I kinda miss it. Haha now on to figuring out who (and what) to start with..

A little superhero girl.

2010-09-08T16:46:00.004+08:00

i'd kick the bad boys back to school
teach them fighting's just not cool
i'd give every kid a teddy bear
turn starving people into millionaires
break glass ceilings with dynamite
sprinkle a little sugar and spice
turn the bullies that terrorize
into pink poodles that bark but don't bite

all i need is a good disguise
one where nobody can recognize
that I'm feeling so small
all I need is a secret weapon
i've gotta have faith
zapping monsters into outer space
i'm gonna be a Superhero

When I was small, I wanted be like a free spirit; a free spirit with a big heart. Then I could fly and make the world a better place for everbody ((:

I still want to.

Good morning, world!

2010-09-03T21:36:00.003+08:00

i've got it all, but i feel so deprived
i go up, i come down and i'm emptier inside
tell me what is this thing that i feel like i'm missing
and why can't i let it go

Somedays are just plain suckfests - filled with 'why God? why me?' moments. But I guess I'm morally obliged to just suck it all in and tahan. I've been doing that all my life now, so it shouldn't be that hard right? WRONG. I need a punching bag. Like, literally; you know those big bolster thingies the boxers use? Yupp. Next time I got to a pasar malam, I'll keep an eye out for it. But still... SIGHH, it's just another 'tahan' strategy. You know, I've never quite embraced tightly the idea that 'God doesn't give you an obstacle you cannot handle' until recently. Cause I start wondering everyday how my tolerance towards all the work, bullshit and jazz life throws at me, comes rather easy. Effortless. In fact, if I drowned myself in work and didn't have time to reflect and stuff, life would be a breeze. I'd feel like I was on top of the world, you know? Stressed, still, but I guess I'd think I was the least screwed-up person in the world. Unfortunately, I think too much, lotsa times. It's killing me :/ I think I cause my own heartbreaks half the time too, because of that. Sigh. It's kinda revolting cause I don't have time to deal with all the unnecessary shit. There's so much to do, so little time - and I can't help but feel I just have to hold on to my faith for dear life and ride the wave. And if I end up drowning at the end of the day, at least I held on tight and tried. My God would know better, because He is good (((:

Keep me where the light is.

2010-07-02T00:09:00.003+08:00

oh gravity is working against me
oh and gravity wants to bring me down
oh twice as much ain't twice as good
and can't sustain like a one half could
it's wanting more
that's gonna send me to my knees

Nyeh. Not much to all this, really. Basically, my terms are eff-ed up? Yeap. And I feel bad cause I keep having to lie to my parents about it :/

Mama/Papa: So how was the paper today?
Me: Okay.

LIES. But what was I supposed to say anyway? 'Err, I screwed it up. I think I'm going to fail and be put into this supplementary programme that forces kids to study' Hmm. The morally right decision, no doubt. But then again, my head would've been shaven clean bald and I would've been locked in my room and only allowed to get out of which when I'm 50. In other words... I'd rather not. It's more disgusting though because I actually studied and practiced some of that orange book thingy! MATH IS SUCHA BITCH - and it's gonna get me killed while it's at it too! You know once in primary school, I had like a 74/100 for Math? Sure now I'd kill to have 74/100 for Math but well the stakes have changed and stuff, and back then freak kids I called my classmates got 100/100 for Math. Like at least one person would score full marks -.-

Papa: I'm sure at least one of your classmates got 100.
Small, innocent, primary-school me: Yaaa.
Papa: Well how many heads do they have?

HAHAHAHHA. It's funny when I think about it now. But yeahhhh math's never really been my thing but hey I had As for E. and A. Math in Os so there shouldn't be any reason why I can't do it again right? Right. Someone needs to buck up around here, and I think it's me :/

Other than that? Well I have this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever someone mentions 'Econs' now. My guts never fool me (not yet, perhaps. but never, nonetheless). So yeah, I think I screwed that up too. I hope my guts are dead wrong this time. Hee, at least I have HOPE left. My life's a freaking Pandora's Box right now! ); Please just let me PASS at least! A D, a C? COME ON GIMME SOMETHING HERE.

Literature's the best, as usual. Lit makes me happyyyyyyy (: Ha, but the next thing you know, I'd get all cocky and stuff expecting an A (I do deserve it, I'm not shy to say) but then BOOM! I end up staring at a BIG FAT 'D'! A C's bad enough but noooooo 'D' just had to be written in my book of life. WHYYYYY?

God has a purpose, child. God has a purpose, nevertheless...

So like Geog... haha. Think I'm gnna fail it too. I only wrote 1 paragraph worth of stuff for the 13-mark essay. Hmm, no one or nothing to blame, really. I didn't study the surface winds sections so of course I was gonna flunk whatever came out if it was based on that. DUH. Hope the other sections would pull me through though. SOMEHOW. Didn't study hard, but studied, nonetheless. And I'm not stupid or anything. Lazy, yes, stupid, no. SO I SHOULD PASS HUH? I seem to think so :/ Hmm maybe not just a pss even, hmmmm a D or C?? (BUT NOT FOR LIT OR GP PLEASE)

Okay I guess I should enjoy all the time I have now before I get back my results and dieeeeee. Heh! My forecast for the World Cup? Brazil vs Argentina finals; Brazil wins. My forecast for my Term Exams? A (GP), B (LIT), D + hope (GEOG), E + hope (ECONS), U (MATH, decided). HONESTLY, THE FORMER HAS BEEN AMAAAAZING, I'LL CRY WHEN IT'S ALL OVER!!! ♥ and the latter's ..... eagerly awaited...

... Note the sarcasm.

Serving my blog some justice.

2010-06-09T22:14:00.003+08:00

i'm feeling the way you cross my mind
and you saved me in the nick of time
i'm riding the highs, i'm digging the lows
cause at least i feel alive
i've never faced so many emotional days
but my life is good; i'm feeling you

I'm sitting in front of the laptop now with facebook on one tab, this on the another, and the school website on the last so that if my dad comes to check on what progress I've done with my work, I'd just flip to that tab. Hee! ;DDD I'm in the balcony now, which is next to living room which means I have to put up with Mama and Hannah watching some Korean show, obviously overly engrossed in it since they're crying buckets cause someone died or got cheated on or, I dunno, is living some dramatically pathetic life, I guess? I shouldn't have introduced them to 'Goong' back in 2007, I shouldn't have. DAMN IT. You're an idiot, Nazi. Sigh. I should be doing work now, you know, I really should. But I just can't bring myself to it, I DON'T KNOW WHY. I'm such a lazy-ass these days omg. I sleep 10 hours a day (and still ended up late for training this morning what the hell), eat and watch funny shit on the computer/TV another 10 hours and, well, the other four hours, I just can't figure out what happened to them. NO WONDER THE HOLIDAYS ARE FLYING PAST LIKE WHOOOOSH. Damn me! And the World Cup starts this Friday. HOLY MOTHER OF COW, I'm gonna need all the discipline in the world to get my As for terms! And I'm already screwing my grades up. God help me. And please help improve my Math teacher's heart condition too, because I think I play a major part in any heart failure she's gonna have in the future. Sorry ______ (I don't even know her damn name!!! AHHHHHHH). See the shithole I'm in?

Training's been... well, yeah, training, I guess. Haha I missed 2k cause I was an hour late today which means I gotta go run it at my own time soon. Ugh I hate running long dees :/ Other than that, we're still doing the walks and coordinating our lead leg and trail leg and swings and runs over the hurdle, so it's still rather slack. The Gods have informed me, though, that Mr Teo is famous for his trainings. Part of these trainings include 400mx10. DUDE, KEEL ME NOWWWW. As if Ma Jiao Lian's 300mx9 now is not already killer. OH STUFF A BARREL UP MY NOSE AND PULL THE TRIGGER NOW. SIGHHHHHH. But then again, it's trainingggg. If I wanna be Champ, or have a medal at least, I gotta work. Haha, gonna need a hella lot of work, though :P And DISCIPLINE. And time management such that I don't end up as an academic failure. GO NAZIII ♥

Hmm... well... so I guess I should go do some Math now? UGH I'm trying desperately to find something else to type about now, can you tell? Damn you, you slow, lazy-ass brain! ))):

D:

2010-05-08T20:28:00.003+08:00

tellin' me to get my shit together?
now I got my shit together
now I made it through the weather
better days are gonna get better

I think I've gone crazy. I swear. (Haha only Laura Kho knows what I mean I think)

Updated, updated! :D

2010-05-02T18:54:00.003+08:00

you're gonna fly away
glad you're goin' my way
i love it when we're cruisin' together
music was made for love
cruisin' was made for love
i love it when we're cruisin' together

I miss training :/ Gah. I've been feeling like sucha pig lately with eating, eating and EATING and not doing any exercise. Mass PEs are okay I guess, but it's nothing compared to training. How do I know this? Cause everytime I hear '2.4km', I feel like puking and hiding behind a bush. Too bad the school doesn't have any (although some may argue that I have one behind my head :|). Before, we did 2.4 for freaking warm-ups man! AHHHH. If I continue at this rate, I swear I'm gonna need a by-pass surgery or something in a few months' time. GOD HELP ME. I think too much sometimes, I know. But then again, thinking is one thing; acting on it is another. Bleagh, I'm sucha screwed up kid nowadays. I can't help but feel like a choo-choo train that just keeps going and going and never stops. Thing is, I keep going but I'm not picking up anything along the way. Empty, meaningless journey. I do try, I'll give myself that. But it's just not enough, I guess. Everytime I feel stupid, I tell myself to suck it up and just keep going. It used to work before, you know. But I think I've come to a point where I need to do stuff about stuff. Cause all this sucking-it-up thing gets really tiring after a while, and I feel like exploding.

---

So I re-read this whole post and realise how whiny, complain-y this all sounds. Haha. Fine. Life goal #__: Try to not to whine too often :P Alrighty, time to go stretch and finish case studies for my PW (ugh). After which, perhaps I would lie down in bed for a good few minutes before falling asleep and wonder "Why, again, did I say OK to going to school at 8am on the morning of a school holiday tomorrow?" Yeap. Sunday night schedule, all done.

Going & Coming.

2010-03-20T00:31:00.004+08:00

i think i'd better leave right now
before i fall any deeper
i think i'd better leave right now
feeling weaker and weaker
somebody better show me how
before i fall any deeper
i think i'd better leave right now

I feel it's essential that I admit I did lose my faith in all things for a while, but I've now realised, more than ever, how God is good. He is so, so good. I don't deserve a lot of the good things that I have now in my life. It's true. But despite my sins, he still gives them all to me (getting the Humanities Scholarship, the recovery of my lost bag filled with lotsa stuff, etc). And I'm so undeserving of it all. So, so undeserving. But He's good. So, so good. So, I'm done walking on the broken path now. It's about time I went back. Because my God is good. My God is so, so, so good (:

That Country Slang.

2010-03-11T20:34:00.004+08:00

anything that's worth having
is sure enough worth fighting for
quitting's out of the question
when it gets tough gotta fight some more

I love 1AH. I love the new friends I've made here in ACJC. I love the gazillion breaks I have in my timetable. I love shopping and talking shitty weird lingo Grace came up with HAHA. I love how no one stops and bugs me anymore for so-called "short skirts". I love selling all my fun-o-rama tickets in a week. I love selling 10 'As You Like It' tickets in a week. I love crashing ACS (I) with Chaisy for no apparent reason (we shouldn't make it a habit haha). I love ACSian Theatre (although I am ridiculously inflexible, can't dance for nuts and get scolded every dance rehearsal ): ) I love swinging big, pretty flags around very enthusiastically :D. I love slowly growing fat with all the Arts students cause we have so many breaks and every break we eat something. But most of allllllll, I LOVE THE FACT THAT IT'S MARCH HOLS NEXT WEEEEEEEK. Andandandandand TOMORROW'S FRIII-DAYYYYYY ♥ Yay for mass PE (yes, ACJC, I happen to enjoy mass PE thank you very much and please don't kill me after you see this thanks) :DDDD Burn fats burn fats burn fats!!! But I'm a bit nervous though cause I have a strain in my left hamstring and I don't know what else to do than apply the hot muscle ache cream thingy and hope, pray and wish for the best. A website said "stretch gently". Well, not if it even hurts when I'm just sitting on the toilet bowl, pal. But it's much better now, like I can actually walk THANK GOD. I hear about people pulling their hamstring (coughbeckhamcough) and can't walk for like a week or more ): YIKES. Hence, I am a grateful, grateful girl (: And besides, I've never had a hamstring strain before so it's quite cool now how I can add to my list of injuries, right after ankle sprains. It was really bad when I woke up this morning, though. I had to roll all the way to the side of the bed. Throw my good leg over the edge, and drag my left leg along, all the way to the bathroom. Then I sat on the toilet bowl and felt like dying cause the weight was pressing on it. Then I slept (yes, while in the toilet) for about 5 minutes as usual. Dear hamstring, please cure yourself fast so I can move on with my life. I would really appreciate that, thank you. Oh and I had the Humanities Scholarship interview yesterday! Wowowowee. Haha. It wasn't as bad as I expected it to be la actually. I expected MUCH MUCH worse - they were gonna question me on every single arguable sentence in my essay and make me cry. But they didn't, lucky for me (: The interview was at 9.30 in the morning, so I guess they were, pretty much, morning people. Having done the interview now, I really reallyyyy hope I get the scholarship. But at the same time I'm prepared not to get it too. Grace Chan - "Aiya get then get la, don't get then don't get la" HAHAHA. Aiya but at the end of the day, when you've tried your best and gave it your all, all that's left to do, really, is pray and hope for the best, I guess (((: After all, everything happens for a reason because God has a plan for everybody in the wholeeee wideeee world ♥ ♥ ♥

TIME TO STUDY FOR ECONS QUIZ TOMORROWWWWWW.

Swinging.

2010-02-28T22:36:00.005+08:00

we're going down, down in an earlier round
and sugar, we're going down swinging
i'll be your number one with a bullet
a loaded gun complex, cock it and pull it

I thought Andrew Garcia's version of it on 'American Idol' was really nice > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjqYFVhj-OI . I don't know what the judges' problem was, maybe they went deaf for a bit :/Also, I was listening to Carrie Underwood's 'Mama's Song' the other day, then I burst out crying. Hahahah! I am seriously a loser omg. But it WAS rather touching, I have to admit (DUH). Okay fineeeee, so I cry easily. Please don't make a big deal outta this when you see me in public please. SHEESH. And I went out with Alyssa and Valen yesterday after 2343484648 failed plans hahahah! Best day I has in a long long whileeeee (((: Gossiping and eating and joking! Hahahahah. THANKS YOU TWOOOO ILY TTVM ♥ ♥ ♥ And I'll get you your hamster soon Valen, please be patient dearie! Haahahhaha. Anywayyyy, I'm doing Econs now, everyone! ((: YAY. I refuse to be a closet mugger, however kinda appealing that sounds. And besides, for reasons unknown, I am now Econs Rep. HAHAHAH. Yes, HAHAHAH. My plan to not have any leadership positions whatsoever has been foiled (Thanks alot alot ah Grace and 1AH!!!). Ahh, being a good student (or trying to, at least) is so tiring ): And Mdm Tham, the discipline mistress, is now my new best friend ((: No, like really! She was so nice to me on Friday and excused me from a ridiculous punishment otherwise given to girls with short skirts. HELLO WORLD, I DO NOT HAVE A SHORT SKIRT OKAYYYY. (Not after I lengthened it 2 weeks ago, anyway) And not on purpose, most definitely! Omg eww, I am soooo not like THOSE kind of people. I just want to keel those girls whose skirts are half their thighs! Whoever said 'ignorance is bliss' deserves a kick in the crotch area. Hence, after little deliberation, I've decided to carry a ruler in my pocket everywhere I go from now on so that if I ever get stopped for "short skirt" again, I will whip it out and PROVE MY INNOCENCE. Ugh, I hate getting into trouble, and especially when I didn't do any wrong in the first place. It's like primary school all over again )):

Hannah: Mama! Kakak took my stuff!
Me: No, I did not!!! It's mine! My name's on it!
Mama: Ijechi, you're the older one, must learn how to give in! Give her.
Me: fbwkgsgdbghfdb! (silently, in my heart of course)

Ugh. Wth. But I guess for lotsa reasons, it's for my own good. You shouldn't regret anything in life, I guess. You live, you learn (: And then perhaps when I grow up, I can be an advocate for the wrongfully-accused :D . Hmm, HOW EXCITING. And for the record, I guess i should wrap this up with a new-found celebrity I candy (((((((((:

HI CASEY JAMES, ILY ♥♥♥ P.S: Please disappear Kara Dioguardi, you are married and should give other people (a.k.a. ME) a chance thank you very much :DDDDDDDDDDDD

Things Have Changed.

2010-02-19T23:35:00.003+08:00

all i need
is the air i breathe
and a place to rest my head

We just got our timetable for the rest of the year today! Tutorials plus lectures and MASS PE hahahha. I'm so nervous for tutorials cause I just realised that we have homework. Yeah, when you consider not having done homework for a whole 3 months, you become nervous upon hearing the word 'homework'. And I'm so excited for mass pe omgosh! Everyone else says I'm crazy ): But I miss PE, kinda. And although I'll most likely end up crawling around on my knees after PE on Monday, I LOOK FORWARD TO THE CHALLENGE ((: Haha. Drama Day tmrwwwwwww. Anna messaged me 3 times in a n hour, reminding me to meet for breakfast at 8 tmrw. Heyyy I'm not always late okayyyyy! I'm punctual lotsa times too!! Sigh. Okay fine I take that back. But I'll be punctual for FOOD at least :DDDDD Hahaha. I have an ugly bruise on my knee from Dance on Wednesday ): BUT IT WAS DAMM FUNNN. All my muscles still ache though from all the stretching. Oh and woah I am officially envious of ultra-flexible people. I AM AS STIFF AS A TREE I SWEAR )): Grr. From now onwards, I think I should categorise stretching under the 'MUST-DO!' group in my brain. Right beside, 'food'! :DDD Really, I should start stretching every dayyyy. I aim to defy the odds and be able to do a split by the time 'As You Like It' is over ha! ((: Oh and speaking of which, HEY EVERYONE, COME DOWN TO ACSian Theatre's first production of the Year 'As You Like It'!!! All the info's here > http://www.facebook.com/#!/ical/event.php?eid=454155580191. It's gonna be spectacular duh of course, SO DON'T MISS IT LA OKAY (((: I love you all veh veh much people :D Oh and on the note of advertising, BUY FUN-O-RAMA TICKETS FROM ME TOOOOOOO. FYI, Fun-O-Rama is ACJC's renowned Carnival. It's every 2 years so if you miss it now, ha-ha to you. Haha no la, but let's just put it this way, EVERYONEEE KNOWS ABOUT FUN-O-RAMA, EVERYONEEE WANTS TO GO TO FUN-O-RAMA, AND IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TO AT LEAST ONE FUN-O-RAMA, YOU DESERVE TO BE IN CHANGI PRISON. One ticket's going at $10, but if you're in the right frame of mind, you'd buy at least 2 cause there's no way in hell you're only gonna spend one pathetic ticket at Fun-O-Rama. I'll accompany you to Changi Prison myself. Hahaha. So buy tickets from me please quickkkkkk! (((: (81750258, thanks. And I'm soooo gonna delete my no. after I finish selling my stack of tickets) Today was a generally goooood day btw ((: I heart 1AH already ((: There's some tension now between what seems like 3 different camps; Camp A, Camp B, and Camp Neutral. But I really hope the dust will settle soon enough. Cause I wanna riot and prank teachers for fun again. Haha (((: Chaisy and I went to crash (kinda) IB todayyyy! Saw Aishah and Mel and our new himbo friend Jon!!! Hahahah there were so many SC girls in IB I didn't know. And the food there is quite nice too. I think I clicked well with the canteen stall uncle and aunty. Hahahah. They were like interviewing me like what was my name and all that. It was scary at first, but then they gave me good food, so that made up for it. YAYYYY :D Hahahah. Omg I sound so pig now. Anywayyyy.

You set it again
My heart's in motion
Every word feels
Like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows
Burning in the dark
And I'm in love
And I'm terrified
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life

2010-02-16T23:43:00.003+08:00

Let go, let go, let go... Hope for the best, hope for the best, hope for the best. I refuse to let unworthy and undeserving people get to me. I live my life through God's will, not theirs. Like all the other times in my life, it feels so nice to have something to hold on to ((:

Smile.

2010-02-09T20:29:00.003+08:00

you open doors i close
in a world where anything goes
you give me strength so i stand tall
within this bed of earth, just like a rose

My heart doesn't feel like it's mine anymore (however it is you interpret that haha). But yeah :/ I feel so different now and I don't know why. Speaking of which, those last 4 words seem to be a necessity in everything I say these days. As much as I want to cry, I want to smile as well. For some reason, it's so much easier to do the latter and bottle the rest of the things up inside. As a result, it's so much easier to feel miserable too. But then I sit down and think of all the things I should be grateful about and I get disgusted with myself for thinking that. Although it's human, I guess I should complain less about life and listen more. With this, I've come to a conclusion that I always expect too much. God, and it kills me so. This is hard. Nonetheless, I'm glad I have You (: You'll make me the girl who smiles while she's crying, wipe those tears, then move on with a heart's that's a teeny bit stronger each time. This, I pray to you.

Not yet.

2010-02-06T23:34:00.004+08:00

the silence isn't so bad
till I look at my hands and feel sad
cause the spaces between my fingers
are right where yours fit perfectly

I woke up today feeling like I just got hit by a truck ): To make that worse, that's the third time I've said that line in 5 days. Haha. It just hit me that I've slept less than 25 hours in 5 days. Somehow, somewhere I heard that you were supposed to sleep like at least 8 hours a day or something. Hmm, I haven't done that in let's see...... EVER. Haha. I guess the fact that I'm still alive should go into the books as a miracle. See, God IS Great (: And He shall guide me through this Humanities Scholarship essay that's due on Monday too, as I continue to be deprived of my 8 hours of sleep. To God be the Glory ♥ (I am really getting this ACS thing; this is so awesome!!! HAHAHAH)

Meet FRANK.

2010-02-03T22:08:00.004+08:00

in places no one will find all your feelings so deep inside;
was there that i realised that forever was in your eyes;

I hate people who put you down just because that's the only way they can bring themselves up. It's very tiring to keep giving faith and trust to someone, just to know that somewhere in the future (make that the near future), you'll get back-stabbed. AGAIN. I apologise for this post should it seem "bitchy" or whatever, but I just feel that this is so necessary; similar to the honourable habit of thinking twice prior to saying or doing anything. You know why? Because the world doesn't just revolve around you and if you somehow feel that being overly sarcastic and completely ignorant to other's feelings is cool and will boost your popularity or sth, then you really are just one sad, pathetic kid. From this moment on, I shall just not bother anymore, simply because I think it's a bloody waste of my time. I have more important things to do than help you adjust to this new environment, new friends, and what-not. You can go jump into the lion's den by your freaking self this time. Good luck. Have fun. I guess that's the least I could do for you know, wishing you all the luck you can get. "Not giving a damn" has never been part of my agenda in life, until just now. I cried after so long today and to think that YOU made me do that really pisses me off. I couldn't really care less if I don't have you as a "friend" anymore, you know? I've never really considered you one, anyway. I tried to be nice, I really did try. Honestly, though, I think I have finally come to a point where I know for sure "Enough is enough". Call it mature, call it growing up, call it whatever. But after feeling sorry for myself for the last 2 hours, I start thinking that perhaps this is His way of waking me up. I've drifted pretty far from His path, recently, and my heart tells me that all these challenges I'm facing currently is His way of guiding me back to the right path. For in the end, the truth of the matter is that you always come back to God, and you always come back to those who truly truly care for you a.k.a your family and those few really close friends. Perhaps it is an eye-opener for me; to make me realise that there are bigger, much bigger things than being too nice to people who don't really deserve it. He has blessed me with a too-kind-and-too-soft heart that often comes as a curse and cause me many problems. In spite of that, I'm also aware that that heart he gave me is the will be the precise framework for my future and my purpose in life, whatever THAT may be. For God knows best and he knows all. There was so much anger and hurt just now, but my heart is calm now because He allows it to be that way and I'm now ready for whatever it is that comes my way. I may not be ready for EVERYTHING exactly, but I am ready, nonetheless; and that is definitely one step up from my too-naive-for-her-own-good-before self.

P.S: Thanks Moni! I know we've been through a lot of ups and downs ourselves, but thanks anyway for being there for me today, and all the other days. I really appreciated it (: You saved me from bursting out into tears in public (((: Haha. Oh and sorry I ended up crying anyway even though you told me not to let this kind of thing bother me.

P.P.S: Nad!!! Haha you didn't even know it, but your 'IB life' sms-es really cheered me up just now. Haha. Thanks so much (((:

No, I'm not going to get suck into your vortex of insanity again.

2010-01-31T22:35:00.005+08:00

so i will lose myself and bare my soul
take this chance cause heaven knows
im so far gone, my choice is made
and even if my heart should break
you're the best mistake i've ever made

School's been..... lotsa things. Haha, I guess it's been going well so far; but in saying that, I don't wanna expect too much. I always do, anyway, and in the end things always get messed up )): I'm still gonna put in my two cents (or more) worth into doing things, but I'll let Him lead the way (: Yeah, that sounds soooo much better. And that, basically, is life after all, right? Haha. We've been cheering away and dancing for 90% of orientation in AC for the past 2 days. I start wondering whether I should feel sympathetic towards my friends from other schools. I heard that Anderson, for one, already submitted their subject combinations and picked their CCAs. Woah. Dude, it's only been 2 days of school!!! See my dilemma?? Haha. And everyone asks me how's AC?? "CHEERful". There's no better word (: Oh and there's a Hokkien Cheer too!!! It's my favourite so far cause it's so GANGSTERRR. Haha. Heyyy I was a straight-A (kinda) student and from an all-girls school for the past 4 years of my life okayyyy. You have no idea the number of times I wished I was in some kind of Mafia or another. So so coooooool!!! The Japanese Yakuza is awesome too and China has the 'United Bamboo' gang. I read somewhere that each of these gangs own like 30% of their country or sth. Interesting... I don't understand a word of my Hokkien Cheer but I like the feeling of screaming it out and acting gangster anyway ((((:

Wa lang see kin ah (echo) Wa lang see how ah (echo) Wa lang see AC pa buay toh ah (acho) Ah see le beh song ah (echo) Ka kin ka wa gong ah (echo) AC AC Pa buay toh ah (echo)

SO COOL RIGHT?? Haha. I'm excited for no apparent reason. My clan, Vasillia, is damm cool awesome toooo! There are so many SC girls in Vasillia I dunno why. But Vasillia has lotsa girls in general anyway, I have no idea why too. But I love my OG HYPNOS ♥ There are still like very shy people but everyone's slowly opening up, I guess (: There's still those uber shy ones and after trying to break the ice for 2 days, I was on the brink of giving up ): I just got pretty tired and moody at some times of the day ): Sigh. Nyeh, I'll figure those tough nuts out one way or another ((: I'll try to, at least. Haha. But the girls are generally really really friendly! Maybe it's just a girl thinggg ♥ Haha. Like Charmaine and Jackie and Abigail and PriPri and Yan Rong ((: Everyone's really niceeeee! But I think most of the guys not very used to talking to the girls so generally, the guy-girl relationship in our group is quite errr...... yaa. Haha. But that's okay!!! We just take a lil bit more time, I guess ((: But if we don't get it done by Couples' Dance.... Hahahahha! Let's just say I think a lot of people are gonna be needing foot surgeries :DDD And our OG leaders are hyper and enthu like nobody's business! Hahahahha. But they're damm nice also la. It's pretty easy to tell that they're trying very hard to rope everyone in together and stuff (((: And omg AC's really crazy cause I just realised that there are so many West View Primary people as well. REUNION YAYYYYY (((: Like Anna and Nadine and Zhen Wei and Jason Ang and Nazryn and still got some more but I'm too lazy to think :/ And I've yet to figure out the PERFECT way to go to and come back from school. Alyssa and I are always almost late for school and it's only been 2 dayssss!!! Hahahhah. Jokeeeeeee. We now have "going to school" plans that stretch from Plan A to Plan D. Talk about dedication right?? Hahahhahahah.

Kayyy I guess that pretty much summarises thingsss. Haha there's a million gazillion bloody shit EMBARRASSING things that happened too but I have decided to save my beautiful blog space from that bunch of insults. Haha. Academic wise, I guess I've pretty much signed my A-Level will: H2 Lit, H2 Econs, H2 Geog, H1 Math, H1 Malay, GP, PW, H3 NUS Social Science & Humanities Research (i really really hope; please God ♥). Then, I plan to grab the Humanities Scholarship from MOE as well (: Sigh. I know the competition will be crazy tough; but I'm up for it. I have nothing to lose anyway, so might as well give it a go right? Make that a GOOOD 'go'. Haha. I pray God put the Humans Scholarship in my future cause i really really intend on trying my best for it. I suppose it'll end up as a showdown between the Hwa Chong Humanities Programme people and everyone else; but God knows best in the end (((: He always does ♥ And besides, The Best Is Yet To Be, remember? Hahahhahahhahahhahahhaha.

I'm really starting to miss SC though. "Yellow and green, our SC school badge; Ain't nobody gonna be our match. Don't mess around with SCGS cause we're gonna do our best"

And we diddddd! ((((((((((((; ♥ ♥ ♥

Essence.

2010-01-27T11:07:00.004+08:00

kiss me beneath the milky twilight
lead me out on the moonlit floor
lift your open hand, strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
silver moon's sparkling
so kiss me

I woke up in the late morning for, what could possibly be, the last time today. But before that, I had to be forcefully woken up at 7 by my dad's voice booming in the hallway, going "Yes!" The text said, "IJECHI NAZIRAH NAZRI NWAOZUZU, you are posted to ANGLO-CHINESE JC, ARTS (22A), under 2010 JAE. Pl report to JC/MI on 28 Jan 10 at 7.30am." Well.... I guess I'll be heading off to ACJC now. The SCGS>ACJC girl - what are the odds? Haha. I'm glad lots of my friends will be going there too. So much for all the excessive crying and moaning and "We can't forget each other even if we go to different schools okay!!!" Oh, good times, good times... ACJC wouldn't know what just hit them as soon as the school term starts. Haha. Speaking of which, I really think the fact that school starts tomorrow has to hit me harder. It's surreal, so surreal...... Kay, not anymore; I shall do the honors now: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (acknowledgements: mccaulay culkin)

Catchy.

2010-01-25T18:25:00.004+08:00

stop ta ta talkin that blah blah blah
think you'll be gettin this? naw naw naw
not in the back of my car ar ar
if you keep talking that blah blah blah

According to Hume, it is not logic and reasoning that determine our actions, but emotion.

I'm taking a break between all these mind-screwing SAT Grammar tests. I failed my first one at 3/15. By the sixth, I was at 9/15. That's not too bad, I suppose; considering the fact that they were all back-to-back 'test, then answer, then explanation' marathons. In addition, I strongly feel that the fact that the last test involving grammar that I was involved in somehow was way back when I was 12 has to be taken into account as well. Obvious conclusion: SATs are big bullies, and I shouldn't be feeling bad that I failed 4 out of 6 grammar tests in a span of 45 minutes. There. I guess it's only fitting now that I get back and try making friends with SATs once more (the sentence correction section, this time). If I'm lucky, we could eventually come to a point where we start trading lunches at recess. So help me, God. ((:

Did You Hear About That Rock In Space? Yeah, That Was Me.

2010-01-24T18:59:00.004+08:00

people in love get fast and foolish
people in love get everything wrong
but at least they're not lonely;
at least they're not lonely
they'll never be lonely...

Perhaps I'm the reason for Newton's first law - An object will continue in its state of rest or move in a continuous motion, at a constant speed unless a change is brought about by a resultant force acting on it. (Wah my physics still powerrr huh? Haha, so much for the B3 :/) I've reached a point where I am certain my life needs change. Mm-hmm, like big change. I'm talking OBAMA (he's so cool!) change. Haha. Still in reference to Physics, I'm on Earth now, not space. I shouldn't be drifting about anymore, going on and on and exerting no influence whatsoever. I need to fight this gravity, start my on path. I will somehow, I know. I just hope it'll come a bit faster, you know? I'm really anxious; excited, even (: Haha. I wish to relive the old times too. Experience that moment I did a few months/years ago where I remembered telling myself, "I like where I am now. I like this". After which, I just sort of drifted and drifted and eventually end up in this place that's just not me. Don't get me wrong, I like bits and parts of this "place" and all. It's just that I like that old "place" better; that "place" where I stopped doing stuff for a while to realise that things were going good (: I don't know if I'll ever see that "place" again, but I sure hope that wherever I go in the near future, God will bless me with that awesome feeling again. It's sort of like the kind of feeling people claim to have right before they die, like how everything seems so beautiful and there was no guile and no evil in the world anymore? Yeah, except just minus the dying part... Haha. Living a life half filled with superficiality is taking such a huge toll on me. Today is the day I walked into a huge wall saying "Superficiality & spirituality are like Jay and Conan. They used to be fine together, but after a while, they just don't get along anymore, honey." Okay, so I didn't literally walk into a wall, but ahhh you know what I mean (: Thus, in order to live a balanced life, I have decided to tone some things down and buff the others up a bit (: I guess I could tone the superficial part down to like 20 % maybe and I could buff up the spirituality part to 75%. The other 5% I have to leave out because just when you think you've got your whole life planned out before you, you never know what He has in store (:

Patience & Principles.

2010-01-22T15:45:00.004+08:00

you're like an indian summer in the middle of winter
like a hard candy with a surprise center

Stuck at homeeeee. And facebook's photo uploader is being a bitch ): The video uploader is surprisingly behaving though (: Ugh I hate it when the loading bar goes all the way to the end and then the dialog box would go "Waiting for response", then you wait wait wait, and like 10 seconds later it goes "Upload failed. Please try again." AHHHH SCREW YOUUU. And I waited for like almost an hour waiting for the stupid thingy to load ): Ugh I feel like SCREAMINGGGGGGGG. But cannot la, got reputation (more like my neighbours would call up the cops if they heard me screaming randomly but, hey, who's assuming?) ((; Haha. I'm starting to feel so restless now. Oh and I have the 'Red Bag' that I bought on eBay that I still need to pay for. It's only 6 bucks including the domestic standard mail charge wheeeeeee! (: But, God, the seller is sooo annoying. "Please make payment within 3 days of winning auction or negative feedback would be given". That is one of the dumbest things I've ever seen. 3 days? WHY? Or else you'll hyperventilate and die? WTH. I don't understand this need for unnecessary deadlines. I bet he/she haven't even sent out the item anyway. SHEESH. I'll pay ya when I pay ya dude/dudette -.- Okay fine, I think I'm starting to sound like a crook. But just for that crap for a line, I've decided to only pay him/her tomorrow. That would make that 5 days (: Screw negative feedbacks or whatever. There's such a thing as moral ethics, you know (as ironic as that sounds right now HAHA). My point, exactly? PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE. And I have the right to say that because I have to stick up with crap-ish photo uploaders which decide to fail themselves at the 99% mark of loading. -.-

So I went out with hmm let's see HALF of the Malay crew yesterday? Haha. The others couldn't make it, but we had fun for them. Yes, for them; cause I strongly believe that that is a moral obligation. Haha. I was like an hour late to meet Ain and Miami at first heh. Then went to Fira's house to play badminton, unofficially adopt her cuteness of a 1-year-old nephew, and create a ruckus after which. Haha. Sharing stories and acting like primary school kids all over again was so fun! It'd been so long, so yeah ((: Oh please and I guess I should clarify this: I do not like Hafizul's brother okay!!! Ain, Miami, Fira, Mary, I will personally slap all of you when we next meet. Haha, kidding. BUT STILL STOP IT!!!!! And he has a girlfriend alr lor, as so I've heard. The four of you, if you're reading this, YA'LL SUCKKKKKK. No nonsensical rumours ah please! I gots no times for thisssss. ((:

Ihsan is my only friend now ): And is it me, or does he have eye bags? Oooh someone's been doing late nights... Hahaha. Anyway, I was supposed to go for the 1SE class party at ECP today, I'M SORRY I CAN'T MAKE IT PEOPLE. No chips for meeeee )): Chips, chips, I WANT CHIPS. I need a little bit more fats because apparently fat is less dense than muscle (not that I actually have muscles), so that way I can float in water better and, thus, be able to swim :DDD PERFECT PLAN. Haha.

Somethings.

2010-01-17T16:10:00.004+08:00

you give me something that makes me scared alright
this could be nothing but i'm willing to give it a try
please give me something
then some day i might know my heart

I have a new fridge!!! But it's so weird cause my mum doesn't wanna throw away our old fridge, but there's not enough space really. So know we have 2 oddly arranged fridges in our kitchen. Haha. Oh and on the way to picking up the fridge, we rode in my uncle's lorry! WAHHH IT WAS SO EXCITING!!!

Hohoho I look so stupid haha! And I made a needlist. Yes, not WISHlist, needlist (: Smart right? HAHA. Here it is:

1) 2010 Planner
2) New swimsuit (in case I get into ACJC, where I'll have swimming lessons each week ): )
3) Pencil case (all I have now is a zip-loc bag as a reminiscence from my 'O' Level days)
4) School shoes
5) New bras
6) Ear studs
7) School uni + books + school stuffs
8) More contacts

I pasted it on top of my desk! Haha. I feel so nervous about number 2 because firstly, I'm not sure whether I'll get into ACJC or not plus I'm slowly starting to have second thoughts about putting AC first and IB second. Secondly, I CAN'T SWIM!!! And Xiaomin says if you can't swim, they make you practice in the baby pool. NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Omg omg omg. Okay fine, I can float on water, yeah in a 1.2m deep pool ); I seriously need to learn how to tread water, SERIOUSLY. That's all that's necessary right? Once I can tread water and make sure I don't sink the moment I jump into the pool, that's fine. We call it 'basics', baby, BASICS. Then, I can slowly learn how to swim (: Okay set! I now have a concrete plan already. NOBODY STOP ME. Haha. My grandma's nagging at me now to hang up the curtains and it's so funny because I said "Nevermind what, the house looks fine without curtains." Then she replied, "Do you know the feeling of not wearing a bra huh? That is how the house feels you know." HAHAHAHHAHAH. I have no idea what bras and curtains really have in common with each other, but that right there was metaphor of the year, seriously. Haha. Hi Nenek, if you're seeing this one day! (: This reminds me of another classic conversation during our 'Minah' outing with Shameera, Adilah, Huda & Aishah:

Me: I think that guy's quite good looking.
Sham: Where where?
Me: There. Next to that girl.
Sham: Oh ya ah. Go talk to him la.
Me: He has a girlfriend!
Sham: Aiya girlfriend only. Not married what.

HAHAHAHHAHA. Yes, hi, my friend is a man-eater. Haha aww I love you Sham! ((((:

We crazy, but we fine (;

2010-01-14T15:01:00.001+08:00

i fly like paper, get high like planes
if you catch at the border i got visas in my name
if you come round here, i make 'em all day
i'll get one down in a second if you wait

Hmm no I wouldn't actually (: Haha. Anyweekyways, I almost died trying to figure out how to work around the previous skin. I like this better, this is good (; My blog is so colourful now yay! Good job, Nazirah.

Yesterday was crazy omg. Went to RJ open house in the morning cause Lynn made me. And Chaisy Shen, the wearer of long sleeves in hot weather, had to wait an hour for us at Bishan MRT. Love you, Chaisy! (: Then walked a "far" distance to RJ, met Jerald, took goodie bags, and scooted off. Time: 10 minutes. Haha. Then I went to KAP for 6K gathering YAY! There were only like 10 people I think? And there was some girl I didn't know but my kind conscience told me to wave and I did. Haha I felt so stupid after that cause she gave me the omg-I-don't-know-you-but-I'm-just-gonna-wave-anyway look. Sigh. Some skills have to be learnt man. But Mrs Koh was the star of the gathering la, needless to say :D Shared lotsa stories bout Aussie and school and stuff. It was damm fun catching up after sooooooo long! Coolness (: Oh but then Lynn and Chaisy had to barge into KAP all of a sudden to harass me. After that Al came along to harass me more. Trauma sia, trauma.... It was a three-lady MAFIA. Haha. Went to ACJC Open House after that, where Lauren, Adilah & Moni joined our MAFIA. Saw practically like half the cohort of SC girls there. SO FUNNY. We were dead-beat tired after all our nonsense and Xiaoming's "INCREDIBLE" (in case she sees this haha) tour. Haha. I told Lynn I was going to join rugby and be the star then she laughed :/ NOT FUNNY. Then I told her I was gonna join Student Council and her laughbox practically burst. I have the best friends ever omggggg -.- HAHA. After our dead-beatness we decided there was still time for one more and went to NJ. It was, as they say, very different from all the other schools. Whether that's a good or bad thing, I'll leave it to you to figure out. Haha. After that was 961 all da way to HOME SWEET HOME (:

MIO TV sucks now and there's so little good channels, I feel like fainting. Never before has watching TV become so painful. My life has become almost meaningless after my separation from Nickelodeon and Disney Channel and ESPN and Star World and AXN and Asian Food Channel ): The only sports channel I have is a football channel which only shows classic matches and La Liga matches. Not that there's anything wrong with La Liga and Spanish soccer players, but they haven't give us our EPl yet ): Sigh. But nevermind, I shall hang in there. Once I get my EPL and World Cup and my US TV Pack, I shall bring lotsa tissues to comfort all you Starhub people. Haha. Aiya, at least you still have your Nickelodeon and Disney Channel ): Unfair. ):

This Is My Now.

2010-01-11T23:33:00.001+08:00

cause now i have the courage like never before;
settled for less, now i'm ready for more

I couldn't think of a better way to start this than 'THANK YOU GOD'. He made today such a good day; such, such, suchhhh a good day! I couldn't ask more for anything, I swear (:

SEVEN is now my favourite number. Haha.

English : A1
Literature : A1
Combined Humanities (SS, Geog) : A1
Malay : A1
Math : A1
Additional Math : A2
Higher Malay : A2
Physics : B3
Chemistry : B3

[L1R5=07 L1R4=05]

Soooo I didn't get at least 7A1s and I didn't get an L1R5 of 6 points, but God is still GREAT. I twas so funny at first cause I did the math really quick inside my head and came up with 'L1R5=9'. "Aiya quite good already la actually. God has granted me a single digit yay". Then I realised that I hadn't count the grade I had for Malay. After which L1R5=8 :D OMG I WAS SO EXCITED I RAN TO MY MUM AT THE BACK OF THE HALL AND CRIED, "Mama! I got 8 points!" Honestly speaking, I don't think my mum really understood what had just happened cause she started looking all flustered. Haha. Nonetheless, I cried until my contact in my right eye got displaced -.- After which, I walked around like a moron for a while after that trying to multi-task hugging my friends and blinking my right contact back into position. :D Then, after a while, I realised "Eh, I haven't opened the confirmation letter yet!" So I got my dad to open it, and in it was typed - 'L1R5=07'. That, right there, was breaking point and I just stood there letting carbon dioxide escape from my wide-open mouth then my dad was all like "Hurry! Go re-tell your friends! Say you made a mistake" HAHAHAHHAHAAHAA. OMG EPIC EPIC MOMENT.

Soooooo the moral of the story is: I have no freaking clue how to calculate L1R5s, even though for the past 4 years of my life, I thought I did (: I don't know about you, but I think that's one fine story. Haha.

Oh and I have to dedicate this joint to 2 awesome people I've met in my 4 years in SCGS:

1) Happy Birthday Mel Mellie Khor Khor! Haha. I thought of getting you a present, but after seeing your name flashed on the screen for 7A1s, I think you have all the presents you'll ever need for your 17th birthday! ((:

2) Happy Birthday Xu YanBINGGGGGG! :D Real sorry I couldn't go for your party tonight, Bing! I had my own little party over dinner at my Grandma's haha. I have no idea how much you got, but I shan't bother asking cause you looked so happy! That's all a friend ever needs. Enjoy your unique, limited edition, one-of-a-kind present!!! (even though it really isn't (; ) Haha.

Nownownownow is the time to start thinking about my future for a lil' bit and figure out which JC I wanna go to. Henceforth, I'm gonna ciao at cha for now! ((:

Keep Going; Take It Higher.

2010-01-10T15:42:00.002+08:00

Flyer than a pelican find another chick better than (I don't see her)
Cause my swag is serious
Something heavy like a first day period

'The Saturdays' are now my favourite artists of the moment :) Haha, alright now to get down with it.... TOMORROW IS RESULTS DAY AND OMG I AM FREAKING OUTTTTTTTT SO SO BADLY OMGGGGGG. My heart sinks everytime I think about it. Then I start to wonder to myself why, since I really tried my best. Of course, like everything else, I could have always done better, a little bit more. Whatever it is, what's done is done and THAT I know I can't change. I'll just have to tawakkal after all that praying now because my certificate's already been "printed & LAMINATED" by now. Tawakkal seems so easy to do but it's being quite a challenge now because I just can't seem to stop thinking about tomorrow!!! AH I CAN'T HELP IT. And it's so big, you know! There's so much on the line, in my case, and it is very scary not knowing what to expect. For like half-an-hour, I wrote 5 pages in my diary last night. I haven't felt so refreshed until then (: But now it's like here-we-go-again. Tonight will be the last night I'll ever recite this prayer again, and I guess it's time I broadcasted it to the world. Perhaps, somewhere in the future, this might help someone else too (:

"Dear Allah, please let me get an L1R5 of 6 points for my O-level examinations that I sat for last year. I do believe I am deserving of this dear God, of at least a single-digit L1R5 because I have worked hard and put in great effort into doing well. Like attending study camp religiously, even when I did not have to, and working hard in class to move form Band 3 to Band 1 and stuff. I have never worked harder for anything in my life, and so I shall shamelessly as of you, please do not deny me an L1R5 of a single-digit, at the very least. Please also let me haveat least 7 A1s, including the Malay subject I sat for in 2008. And Allah, please let ____ be my future school and the school in which I will pursue my A-level education for these next 2 years of my life. Please, Allah, I have never wanted anything this much before. I pray to you, oh Allah. With this, I will leave it all to You. Amin."

2010-01-03T15:57:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, I think I'm crazy. Crazy, I tell you. Or maybe I'm just thinking to much. Ah I don't know. Nazirah Ijechi, stop being crazy, you foollll!

I'll Hope.

2010-01-01T00:02:00.000+08:00

when the best come out, the best come out to play
yeahhh...

Happy New Year everyone! Haha I hope this replies all the messages I got on my phone. I know, I know; how selfish am i not to reply to all my nice friends who texted me? But let's just say being financially-savvy is one of the things on my New Year's resolution list (: Here we goooooo:

1) Head > Heart
2) Learn to kill a lizard
3) Save $50 to $100 a month (i give myself a little face here)
4) Own a Nokia N-97 mini or a Blackberry at the very least
5) Read at least 1 book in 1 month
6) Do some kinda chore at home at least once a day (stop being lazyyyyy)
7) Get spotted!
8) Do at least 200 CIP hours
9) Help out at at least 2 charity events
10) Kill an insect myself if I see one (stop being a cowardddd)
11) Cut down on 'Sorority Life' on FB
12) Start e-mailing Grandma Bilhah again like last time (:
13) I SHALL STOP HERE CAUSE THE REST OF THE THINGS I DON'T INTEND ON SHARING WITH THE WORLD WIDE WEB ((:

Last night was annoying because I woke up every few minutes with "Shit! i gotta add this to the list!". Then I had to text it to my phone as a draft :/ Talk about last-minute work... And I made it key not to write generic stuff like "Study harder" or "Be nicer to so-and-so". I don't know. The term 'generic' itself is so ominous. And you'll most likely not end up accomplishing it because you start thinking to yourself "Hmm how much harder exactly did I mean?" or "Is this considered 'nicer'?" Boy I'm not getting myself into THAT mess again.. 2010 is gonna be all about precision, baby. Accuracy... The works ((: With this, it is now 121o and I should be sleeping.. Adieu!

Stoneddddd.

2009-12-30T23:54:00.000+08:00

who says i can't get stoned
i'll plan a trip to japan alone
doesn't matter if i even go
who says i can't get stoned

I need to peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! But my ma's hogging the toilet.. Sigh. I'll post up my New Year's Resolution list tmrw! I'll make it a point even to paste it on the hallways of my house and the walls of my room; that is until my parents make noise. Haha. But it's so annoying how half the time, I don't even end up accomplishing all the things on the list. There's always that one or two sore thingies sticking out :/ And I don't even remember where I last kept my 2009 Resolution List. But that can be good though. Maybe by now, I've secretly accomplished everything. Aaah you never know (: Yeah and speaking of which, I need to make another list - a WISHLIST. Not the 'Sorority Life' one. And that reminds me, on my NY Resolution List, I seriously have to put down 'SORORITY LIFE ONLY ONCE A FREAKING WEEK' (((: Went out with Afifah Miami on Tuesday! OMG OUTING OF THE MONTH SERIOUSLY. Haha it's so funny how we never really did change since Primary school. The moment we first saw each other on Tues, we just started laughing and laughing and laughing for no apparent reason like a couple of morons haha! Just like the ol' times ((: I'm so grateful lotsa my friends haven't changed much. I don't know, I just like most people the way they were the last time I saw them. It makes things so much easier, you know? But.... you don't always get what you want sometimes so yeah (; Anyway, next week is gonna be packed with stuff LIKE HELLLL. So many outings, so little time. And it's the last week too before results so yeah.... God, results.... I want it, yet I don't want it. This is sooo confusing you have no idea. Just cause it's soooo BIG. It beats everything that comes it's way gosh. I'm sooo anxious/nervous/scared/AHHHH. Oh and it's so cool cause I came across another blog which had like the same format as mine! You know, like how I'd type a song that fits my current mood at the start of each post and stuff.. GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE WOW. Or maybe 13443484638 other people do the same thing, it's just that I'm too self-absorbed or sth. Haha okay by now you're probably wondering "how the hell does she hold that pee for so long?". I HAVE A STRONG BLADDER PEOPLE YOU HAVE NO IDEA. Kay, whatever, time to pee now.

(((((((((((((((((:

2009-12-27T23:12:00.003+08:00

SEZAIRI WON SEZAIRI WON SEZAIRI WON OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!! WHOOOOOOOO I AM SOOOOOOOOO ECSTATIC! HAHA MY VOTES DIDN'T GO TO WASTE YAYYYY! I FEEL QUITE BAD FOR SYLVIA LA BUT I ALWAYS LIKED SEZAIRI BETTAH ((: IT'S OKAY I HAVE FAITH IN BOTH; THEY'LL MAKE IT FAR IF THEY WORK HARD (((: AND I WAS RIGHT CHARICE MADE EVRYONE'S JAW "DROP, BOUNCE, DROP AGAIN". HAHAHAHAHHAH. AHHH IM SOO EXCITED SO IM JUST GONNA TYPE IN CAPS ALL THE WAY AND NOT BOTHER CHANGING IT CAUSE THE COMPUTER PEOPLE HAVEN'T CREATED THAT BUTTON I WANTED THEM TO CREATE ))): OKAY OKAY OKAY BUHBYE EVERYBODY IM GOING TO EXPRESS MY EMOTIONS ON FB NOW.

HAPPY HARI ASYURA EVERYBODY! (((:

Yellow.

2009-12-27T21:46:00.001+08:00

look at the stars, look how they shine for you
and all the things you do...

I'm watching 'Singapore Idol' now WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! This is so exciting omg! I want Sezairi Sezali to win. SEZAIRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! I like Sylvia too! But I like Sezairi's voice better la (: And Sezairi's grandma is so cuteeee! Haha. Oh and CHARICE PEMPENGCO IS GONNA PERFORM LATERRRRRR! Haha it's so funny cause she'll just end up making everyone go "Singapore Idol who?" Haha I loved her ever since I saw her on Oprah omg move over Miley Cyrus Demi Lovato Jonas Brothers whatever. Haha. And shopping yesterday was da bomb diggity! Haha yes managed to go shopping after all. My aunt was discharged on the same day and this was what I got from my mum who got this from the doc: low blood pressure + too much exercise = what seems like an appendix problem. Yeah.... I'm sure you can tell from this that I'm no Biology student. Haha. Oh and the 'before-and-after' pictures are up whooooooooo! See people, IMMA GIRL OF MA WORD (: And I cleaned three different places in 6 hours on Friday night okayyyy. Actually not that good la. I bet other people can do it in like 2 hours tops. But still sia I put in effort!! Haha. A round of applause please, anyone? ((:

BEFORE:

AFTER:
YAY! That was my balcony desk. Final count: 4 plastic bags.

BEFORE:
AFTER:
Haha my desk my desk! And yes that was my sister playing 'Spider Solitaire' ((: Count: 2 plastic bags.

BEFORE:
AFTER:
Rooooooom(: Final final count: 8 plastic bags!! (((((((((((((((:

I LOVE MYSELF ((((: Haha. Yayyy now I can no longer be bound at home cause I "haven't cleaned my room". Thank you, God!

You Know That I Could Use Somebody.

2009-12-26T13:07:00.001+08:00

i've been roaming around;
i've been looking down at all I see...

I am so boredddddddddddddd. Yes, you must be wondering, "Wasn't she supposed to be shopping?" Yes. Except I have to wait for my mum to finish up her work ): Haha I was so desperate, I went down to her office in the morning. So hi everyone, from Bugis! But then my aunt called and told us she's in SGH now and the doc says it's an appendix problem, so my mum intends to go there after work. Ugh I know I'm being selfish. I hate myself. But still! And you know it's always like in those shows and if I were in them, they'd be like "Well even if she died, I'm sure she would want to see you do whatever makes you happy". THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS WRONG WITH THAT CONCEPT, but I guess, on a superficial level (which is the perfect level for this case), it makes sense. Okay okay I'm being very mean now ): This is so selfish! Omg stop it, Nazi. Aiyah but I was looking forward to thisssss. Ah. Now I don't know. I feel like Rawiri in our Lit book 'The Whale Rider'. This sucks. Whale Rider all over again OMG. THE HORROR. And I even wore my contacts today! Okay man, seriously, anything I put on contacts for that doesn't fall through, I get mad. Like pissed-off, angry, ehmygawd-i-hate-you-4eva mad. Ya. And notice how I don't even bother to correct any grammatical errors I might have made in the previous few sentences :/ Ya. MAD. Ugh I'm so confused/angry/sad. AND SELFISHHHH. Ah I hate me.

P.S. : Please forgive me for my negative thoughts and feelings, God. Please let Ateh be okay. Please, please, please.

Wheeeeeeeeee!

2009-12-25T17:26:00.000+08:00

Oh they say the sky the limit, but I say there's so much more
Cause your love takes me higher than I’ve ever been before
Where the heavens hold the stars, that's why they stay where they are
And I know why they shine the way they do; that's the way I feel about you

Happy Anniversary Papa & Mama! Sorry for forgetting heh. Omgosh I remember those times when me and my sister would sit diligently on the floor outside my parents' room and draw stuff for them on Christmas morning as an anniversary present. Haha. Good times, good times... Then we would religiously watch 'Art Attack' on the days leading up to Christmas to get ideas. It didn't always work but hey, it was loads of fun nonetheless ((: Today, my sister and I woke up at 3pm. Yeah.... I guess you could say we've gone far from being those girls who sit on the floor in front of our parents room to draw, and subsequently attempt to make them breakfast-in-bed. Faillllll. Haha. Aww I love you, Papa & Mama! ((:

My Red (and green!) High Heels

2009-12-24T22:22:00.000+08:00

you can watch me walk if you want to, want to
i bet you want me back now don't you, don't you?

This is one of those times when I feel like blogging, yet I have no idea what to talk about. Wowness. I guess I'm just gonna lament about my life (or what's left of it, at least). Soooo the before-and-after spring cleaning pictures are not up yet because the 'after' part hasn't happened yet heh. I'm so lazy omg. I don't know why I just can't bring myself to clean up all my junk ugh. Okay tomorrow, I promise!!! No wait tomorrow's Aunty Theresa's Christmas party. Shit. Okay fine, the day after I guess. Eh no after Christmas is Boxing Day and Boxing Day = SHOPPING. Damn. I need to set my life straight! Ugh. Okay okay, you heard it first here - NAZIRAH IJECHI WILL CLEAN UP ALL HER O LVL JUNK BY THE END OF THE YEAR! She promises ((: 'Sorority Life' is taking a hold of my life recently, so I've slowed down yupp. But I get Christmas presents, you know! It's so exciting gosh! Okay stop. Get a grip :/ So, went to the The Maldives & Canada with Lynn and Lauren on Tuesday. Yeah, "The Maldives & Canada" is a substitute phrase for "cycled from East Coast to Changi and back, in the rain". Haha! We decided that if we imagined really really hard, East Coast Park would look like Canada and Changi would somehow look like The Maldives. Haha! Then went to the cafe Kaibin was working at in town. Wah lao the cafe was like some posh thing where like half the customers inside were ang mohs. I had never stared at any menu for that long before; you have nooooo idea. Haha. Then there was this ang moh guy who was like some kind of social butterfly and talked up all the women in the cafe. And he sent us a free drink wheeeee! And it was $9 okayyyyy (and tasted quite nice). Since I, myself, would have never done anything like that, I decided to appreciate the gesture (((: He probably bought everyone else in there something too, anyway. In the end, for pride's sake, I bought 2 chocolate muffins for $6. I guess you could say it was worth the price la; but I can't deny how it hits me every single time that I can buy 2 packets of chicken rice for $6. RAWR. Oh and I guess this is the part I told you about my humiliation at The Maldives. Lynn, Lauren & I were dancing and shaking our ass to 'Single Ladies' for the sake of video-ing our antics, but thennnnnn a group of (quite cute la) ang moh guys comes cycling in front of us. THE EMBARRASSMENT OMGGGGGGGGG. And after that a few more groups of people came cycling by too, but by then it was a case of been there, done that. So yeah... And the aftermath of 3 hours of cycling was so sad. My tailbone hurt so bad I thought I wouldn't be able to have 6 children when I grow up anymore :/ It was, very arguably, worse than training. Haha and Lauren insisted she couldn't feel her legs.

Lauren: I think I need to learn how to walk again.

Hahahahhah. And there was this thing called 'PCN' written on the cycling tracks.

Lauren: What's 'PCN'?
Lynn: Park Connector... NOT.

Hahahahahh. Epic. I still don't know what the heck 'PCN' is. Haha wow another thing to add on my to-do list. Right after 'CLEAN MY JUNK!'. Okay man I got to run now to call my Grandma Bilhah and wish her Merry Christmas. Adieu! ((;

P.S. : SHOPPING ON SATURDAY I CAN'T WAIT!!!! Dear God, please guide me throughout my shopping trip and bless the money I spend and everything I buy. Please let me be careful so that this retail therapy (haha!) be an enlightening one for Hannah & I :DDD

Lapping It All Up.

2009-12-21T13:16:00.000+08:00

Oh can you feel the gravity falling,
calling us home;
Oh did you hear the stars colliding,
dying just to show we belong.

I think the computer people should invent a thingy such that when you accidentally hit the CAPS lock button, you can highlight your whole sentence and change the words into small letters in an instant; vice-versa. Then you wont have to re-type the whole freaking thing again. But that gets me wondering though, is there such a thingy in the first place, just that I don't know about it (like a lot of other things). :/ Seriously, this is so stressful. Haha. Well, in comparison to my 2 previous posts, I am a muchhhh happier person now (: Having a little more wouldn't hurt, but oh well. (((: Oooh ooh here's one reason why:

My pretty pretty chocolate hamper! So pretty right? (: Yeahhh it's one of those things - box damn big but there's only four pieces of chocolate inside. Kill-joy :/ Speaking of joy, I'm listening to Boyz II Men's 'I'll Make Love To You'. Haha, seriously, what happened to all the good music like this, man? See, you don't have to be all sick and vulgar to make sexy songs (: Not that all the songs now suck or anything but oh well, you get what I mean (: Oh ya, and I think I'm addicted to 'Sorority Life' on FB. It's so fun!!! I have lotsa money, cars, accessories, clothes & boyfriends. Sigh. I don't know how it gets better than this... Haha! :D Oh and I can 'fight' other people and earn money and influence if I win. WHAT A LIFE, RIGHT??? Okay, so let's get back down to earth now and hang out with reality for a sec.

ELLE'S COMING BACK TOMORROW WOOHOOOOOO! Okay fine so she came back today I think. But we're going out tomorrow. Li En, Wanda, Elle (: And Michelle Wiryadi, you owe me starburst!!! Haha. Then gonna cycle at East Coast with Lauren & Lynn on Tuesday. The weather forecast on 'News 5 Tonight' says 'thunderstorm' on Tuesday, but that's okay. We'll just dance in the rain if that happens (: (NOTE-TO-SELF: no wearing anything white on tuesday. thank you.)

Woah this is quite cool I just blogged like 3 days in a row. Awesome feat, can? Haha. Sleepover/Picnic with minah-minah melayu ku, 4DG class partaye (organising is soooo not fun :/), 6K class gathering, and modeling coming up. I can't wait! Thank you, God, for lining these nice activities up for me (: Oh ya and I need to start cleaning up all my 'O' Level mess. Gosh, this sucks. I regret having 3 different studying places. So now I gotta clean up my desk in the living room, my desk in the room and my desk in the balcony. Ugh. Before-and-after pictures coming up soon!

Alrighty, nice hanging out with you a bit, reality. I'm gonna go play 'Sorority Life' now, buh-bye (((:

Wrapping Pandora's box in ribbons.

2009-12-19T10:46:00.000+08:00

It came out like a river once I let it out
When I thought that I wouldn't know how
Held onto it forever just pushing it down
Felt so good to let go of it now

I finally cried today.

After reading that last post, it sounded like I had pre-marital sex with someone. Haha. No, I didn't have sex with anyone. Still a virgin and proud of it (((: I made a promise to God, and I intend on keeping that promise.

Happy Awal Muharram, everybody! :)))

I hate this part right here.

2009-12-19T09:28:00.000+08:00

If I could see the future and how this plays out,
I bet it's better than where we are now.

I guess it's finally come down to this. I just spent like 5 minutes staring at the screen cause I didn't know how to put this into words. You know, I've always had this thing about emo posts; like how sometimes I think people who have everything just seem to exaggerate the pins of their life. Irony. I think I'm just about to do the same thing - except that

1) I would describe this as not exactly emo, but an explicit expression of negative emotions.
2) I don't think I have everything really; but I am grateful of the things I have now.
3) I don't exaggerate.

So yesterday was pretty much a whole lot of ______ (insert negative adjective here). I feel so insecure cause I've never felt this way my entire life. Seemed like I'd been cruising the whole way and then... CRASH. I was always amazed at how people always look at me and like "Oh you're so carefree" and "Oh you're always happy" and "Nazi, why are you always so cheerful?". Truth is, I've always pride myself to be that way. I don't know. I don't like to feel pathetic; to feel sorry for myself. I hate crying. I hate crying in front of people, especially. I hate feeling miserable. Hate is a strong word, but it's true in this case. So when a bad thing comes along, I just sorta dwell on it for a while, then cast it aside and move on. So yes, I don't hold grudges. I don't emo. And when I say I 'stone', I actually don't. I'm just thinking of things silently. It's not a choice really. I just feel that it's something I have to do. I won't get anywhere if I don't do these things. I won't get anywhere if I'm weak. I see people around me, like my family and stuff, and I always make sure I seem confident. But nowadays, for some reason, I can't anymore. I haven't looked anyone straight in the eye for the past few weeks and sincerely mean what I say. It's like this ice wall I've so meticulously build my whole life is melting. I don't know why. And yesterday, a whole chunk of ice just fell out. I cried like 3 pathetic tears before I fell asleep last night. God, I've never felt angrier at myself!!! I don't know why I just didn't bawl and sob out loud. There was no one that would've seen or heard after all. I hate this feeling. I really really hate this. I feel like I got my feet stuck in quicksand or something. I wanted to move. God knows how much I want to; but I just can't. Ha, I can't even cry when I want to. Sigh. Whatever. I'll pull through somehow. I always have, so I know I will. I just need it to be a lil faster. And I hope you help me through it, God.

When people read this, I guess they'll probably be all "Dude, what happened?". But I pray you don't ask me that should I meet you. This would stay in the past for me. Nonetheless, if you asked, I'll probably answer anyway. Talk about sharing and caring; I should share the load, eh? Haha. For now, it'll just be that I did a bad thing yesterday. A really bad thing. The only reason I think it's bad is that it goes against all my principles. Some people would think it's fine. Some would call it "art" or whatever the hell they associate it with. Fact is, I don't. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing; and the devil in me said "Why not? Let's go for it." And so, I did. Let's just say letting myself go had never been part of my agenda in life. And I am so sorry for doing that. I owe you God the utmost of apologies. I pray you forgive me, I really really do. I don't expect you to, but I sincerely hope you do.

But hey I'm still moving on, come what may. It was a mistake. I'm human. We all make mistakes in life. No, that is not an excuse for what I did; just an excuse to deal with it and move on. I certainly won't do that again and I'll be more careful. Well, there you go ladies and gentlemen - the vulnerable side of yours truly. Don't ever count on seeing it again, though. Haha. Time to build up that ice wall again...

Everybody In Love

2009-12-05T14:51:00.002+08:00

long as I'm where you're going to,
i'd wait forever and a day for you

jls everybody in love mp3 | lyrics

free music downloads | music videos | pictures

I might as well.

2009-11-30T01:20:00.000+08:00

i don't know how it gets better than this
you take my hand and drag me head first, fearless
and i don't why but with you i dance
in a storm in my best dress, fearless

Oh wells O's over & I'm down to the nitty-gritty of what it feels like to be bored out of my mind. Hmm... what the heck, I'M GONNA BLOG :)

It's so funny how I scrolled down and realised that I only had 2 posts in the wholeeee of 2009. Sweeeeet. HAHAHA. And most of it had been summaries. At this rate, I'll only have 2-3 posts a year. Hmm.... what the heck, LET'S DO THIS.

STUDY CAMPPP. I'm really gonna miss it though. So many things I'd never expected happened during which. Good things, at that :) Well, there were bad things too, no, weird things. Well but it'd be a waste of time to dwell on that now. Sigh. I miss everyone I got to know at Study Camp. Talk about going through thick and thin together. From all the oily food, to kinda good food, to GOOD 'OL JUNK FOOD, to all the gossip, all the stories, all the tears, the stresses and messes of school life, the fights and arguments, the laughing and teasing, the random-ness, playing badminton when the teachers were gone, to the HANNAH KWAN. HAHAHHAHAHA. Boy, I'll miss it all... Who, in a million years, would've thought that scheduling yourself to study till 8pm in school every single weekday would reap wonderful benefits; oh and we're not talking bout the results now, honey.

SCGS. :) Words can't even put it how I'm gonna miss everyone and everything. HAHA even the canteen food that we complained of non-variety like every single day. Hmm, maybe it's a bit too early for all this nostalgia. For the heart is most weak when it's missing; the mind becomes unfocused. Danggg I can't end up a lame this holiday! Haha. Not now at least :)

THESE FEW DAYS have been....... yeah. Hey I'm no genius, but I know too much of the comp and TV don't bring about no good. And that is exactly why I've been questioning my myopic state. So amidst all the eye-straining activities I'm so accustomed to, I did my E.Math TYS a few days ago. AND NO I'M NOT WEIRD OKAY! Haha! I'm just bored. As a matter of fact, I am soooooo bored. Mama says I should be grateful with life. BUT I AM GRATEFUL. God knows I am. It's just that sometimes I just wish for that little more, you know. I think it's human! Don't you? (: There comes a time when going out with friends becomes rather taxing. But I guess I prefer that than blinding myself or resorting to strange means to keep myself occupied (: Yupp. So I'm gonna go CYCLING with Lynn, Chaisy & Lauren tomorrow. Wheeeeeeee! :) Omg I owe so many people so many dates, I might just dieeeee. Haha! I'm following Nenek to her kampung in Malacca on the 6th or 7th, thereabouts. Ah.... kampung.... I havent been there since i was 6!!! And honestly, I don't know what to expect. BUT THAT'S GOOD. VERY GOOD. I kinda like not knowing what to expect. That way, everything would come as a surprise. It could be a nice surprise or a bad surprise but at least, either way, I know "HEY I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!" It sorta serves as a nice, fluffy cushion upon a landing of any kind, I think :) Hmm for some reason, I think I should be more courageous.... Haha! No, seriously. (:

TODAY has been spent by waking up at 12++ noon. Then bathing. Then IM-ing. Then taking a 1-hour nap (Yes, I know I sleep a lot; and NO, that's not the reason I'm tall ... I think). Eating. IM-ing again. Applying for a job online (I don't see the reason of going out just to find a job as though I'm some kinda unemployed adult, on a freaking WEEKEND. So yeah (: ) Downloading 2 Rascal Flatts albums :DDD Watching 'Pirates of the Carribbean: Dead Man's Chest' on Channel 5 with Mama & Hannah, at the same time. And with that, I wonder what I'm gonna do next.... Um maybe do some A. Math TYS...... Nah. I guess I'll go read a book. Yeah I need to start reading crazy again. Alrighty, a book it is!

Well, that's until I find sth else to do... ((((:

The Sissy.

2009-04-26T21:08:00.001+08:00

sunday morning, rain is falling
oh yeahhh ....

Don't get me wrong, I don't like Sundays actually (when the next day is a school day that is). Anyway, today was such a laaaazy for me. Aside from homework, I pretty much just sat my butt down on the couch watching E! Entertainment :D Watching 'Iron Empress' now and this was what happened 10 minutes ago:

Me: Eh Hannah I think I would have been a good warrior, you know. Maybe I should join the army...

Hannah: Say what??!

Me: Yeah I think I'm quite capable.

Hannah: Oh please! You won't even last lah; you're not even tough!

Me: What??! Whatever. I am okay!

Hannah: No, you're such a sissy. Other people get drunk on beer or wine. People like you get drunk on plain water.

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!

Something's Gotta Give.

2009-04-23T10:58:00.000+08:00

something's gotta give me butterflies
something's gotta make me feel alive
something's gotta give me dreams tonight
something's gotta make me feel alright
i don't know what it is, but yeah something's gotta give

Let's try to summarise 2009 in one word - hectic. Haha. Hmm let's take a look.

January

The first 3 weeks were pretty okayy :D and then,
19th - match again Cedar. Lost. Bad.
20th - Nadhira's BD :D & Obama's inauguration! (dang the obamas drank tea with the bushes for like 4 hours wth)
22nd - Bball Lou Hei(:

February

2nd - Nenek's BD; Physics test (thermal physics & mechanics); match against Zhonghua (won by 1 POINT. )
5th - A.Math test
6th - SCMUN research presentation(:
8th - Lynn's sweet 16! (which i couldn't go for ): )
9th - match against Whitley (my best match the whole season :D )
11th - Lynn's BD
12th - Ratiteeeee & Moniiii BD
13th - E.Math & Chem Test
16th - Lit Test; Physics Test; Match against guangyang (well we won, but apparently didn't play too well)
17th - SS Test
18th - Afifah Miami, Tammy, Kak Nurul BD
19th - High jump (1ST! :D) & pentathlon 200m
20th - Kim Chin's BD!
21st - Malay Boggle Competition
22nd - TRIBOB SPRINT SERIES :DDD
23rd - Geog test
24th - Higher malay test
25th - A.Math test (fell sick on this fateful day :/ )
26th - SUPERTEENS :DDD
27th - SUPERTEENS :DDD
28th - SCMUN 2nd briefing
YEAH. let's just say February was killer month. Despite all the nice stuff that happened. tiredd to the max luh.

March

2nd - Physics test; Match against Yuying (lost, so had to play Raffles for 3rd & 4th)
4th - Match against RG (lost. 4th in south zone); Pentathlon shot put & 1500m
7th - Hwa Chong Asian Games-Team S'pore Invite thingy(:
8th - Jun Yi's BD; International Womens Day(:
9th - SS test; Sports Day Heats 3 at TP stadium
10th - Lit test
12th - Pentathlon Long Jump at TP stadium
15th - TRIBOB SPRINT SERIES :DDD
16th - SCMUN :DDD
17th - SCMUN :DDD
18th - SCMUN :DDD
19th - study camp
26th - Chem (SPA); Hafizul & Aisyah BD
27th - Match against Jurong (nationals. won 45-40); Spirit of the class comp!!!

April

1st - Match against Chung Cheng High (main) (lost.)
3rd - Chem Test
6th - Physics test; 400m finals (1ST! :D)
7th - SS test
8th - match against ahmad ibrahim (lost. that was the do-or-die match. yeahh so we didnt make it to top 8)
9th - SPORTS DAY!!! :D (haha individual champ was a treat. thank you, god (: ); then STEAMBOAT WITH YAO, NADIA, ANNA, ZE, KHOON & CHERYL :DDD
11th - Mama, Li En, Juwika BD
13th - Physics (SPA); English Prelim Oral
15th - Fitri's BD
16th - Physics test (HAHA what a joke sia i bet i'll get a single digit, along with everyone else(: ); Kak Nora, Kak ShaSha BD
17th - E.Math test; Fauzan's BD
19th - CIP SPRINT SERIES! :DDD (last one.)
21st - NAPFA test (grrrr pull-ups grrrrrr!!!now i can only get 29/30 ))): ); free cone day!(:
Tomorrow - A.Math test

I'm sure you get the gist, or even the slightest idea of what i mean by hectic. Haha. And well if you didn't get that, then let's think about the next 4 months yeah. Adrenaline pumping through your veins, brains throbbing away in your skull, eyeballs on the verge of bulging out of your eyes, tempers flaring, head-banging (on the walls), nail-biting, hair-pulling, stuffing your face with food as well as screaming, shouting and yelling definitions just for the sake of memorising them, etc... Yeah.... NOW you get it, don't you? Hahahaha. Okay fine, they say it's not THAT bad but still, "the stuffing your face with food" thing is totally true. I think I'm gonna gain 10kg in the process of preparing for O's. Watch me. And my Ca1 L1R5 was dots. 19 freakingg hell! haha but then again it wasn't as if it was a surprise or anything; I kinda expected it actually :/

Ooh and I watched Laskar Pelangi during HML lessons for the past week and a half. IT'S REALLY GOOD(: Haha just think Indonesian 'Slumdog Millionaire', except that while SM focused on the dark, dirty side of LDCs, LP focuses on the topic of education. And Alyssa and I had library day today! Haha the aftermath of 'anectomy of a boyfriend' made us more err aware of err good reading yupp. HAHAHA. Oh & that reminds me - a.math test tmrw ): Ugh. Sigh but I must do well, I SHOULD anyway. We are all morally obliged to do so :D Watching Laskar Pelangi will tell you why. And for Mrs Long also! Man, if being stressed up had bases like in baseball, believe me I'm doing HOMERUNS. Uh-huh again, and again. And again...

Stand Up To Cancer(:

2008-10-25T18:56:00.000+08:00

I LIKE! ((:

military school - how refreshing. really.

2008-09-06T05:44:00.000+08:00

Hmm let's see: I woke up at 12-ish this morning, did some a.math (or TRIED TO at least), got pissed off because I couldn't prove a trigonometric identity, and now, lo and behold, I'm currently blogging while watching 'Teen Titans' at the same time. I know, I know - you're all probably thinking, "How does she do it?", but really, being bad at math might not necessarily be a bad thing after all.

Soo, this week has went by practically like WHOOOOOSH. Yeah, really. This is proven true as I woke up yesterday morning thinking it was still Sunday (uh-huh, like 'LAST WEEK'S Sunday' Sunday). Poooooh. But then again, if you think about it, the whole darn year has went practically WHOOOOOOSH. Gosh, I can still recall the second day of school when a certain a.math teacher scolded me for mixing up an exercise book and a foolscap pad (I could almost swear she hates me). Anyhoo, I guess it could be worst huh? I could have woken up yesterday, thinking it was still Saturday (uh-huh, like 'LAST WEEK'S Saturday' Saturday). Hahhahhahahh what a life to live. Okay, I gather I should skip to the part where I tell you about stuff that had happened in the abovementioned 'WHOOOOOOOOSH' week:

1) Study. Duh.

2) I found out that I have a tooth growing at the back of my mouth! It hurts like **** but according to the doc, it's a 2nd molar tooth. Oooooooooooh :D

3) Watched 'The Color Purple'. Really, one of the most spectacular movies I've ever watched. Plus, I didn't know Oprah could act (:

4) I wanna watch 'Hotel Rwanda'! Maybe later.

5) The fasting month has been going on pretty well :D

6) Done purchasing my baju kebaya and shoes, and for the record, I LOVE MY SHOES((:

7) I realise that maybe if I had lived the earlier part of my life in let's say Nigeria, I would probably be doing really well in my studies. (Exhibit A: Papa)

8) At the rate my academic pursuits are going, I'm really considering military school. Seriously.

I suppose i have to get back to a.math now. I hope my mind is freshen up (ha!) to prove that trigo identity. Ooooh try it: (sin A + sin B)(sin A - sin B) = sin (A + B) sin (A - B)

Life - featuring Nadal and Abs

2008-07-14T08:15:00.000+08:00

Okay, so what if it's been a month since I've updated right? I fblogging is all about expressing your feeling to the whole world, literally, then I think there's no better time to do it than right now:

So, 2008 so far has been _______.

OBAMA for the democrats [check], NADAL for Roland Garros [check], SPAIN for Euro '08 [check], NADAL for Wimbledon [checkcheckcheck]. ARE you ffriggin' kiddin me?! The whole year has been GREATT! My life has never felt more accomplished! Well, sure my grades were thrash in the beginning of the year and my whole academic aspect of life was almost preposterous; but who cares?!! Wait, okay fine maybe my mum, dad and everyone else above the age of thirty, but well, you know what I mean! 2008 is ESPANA baby! And I am sooo going to Spain, soon. Very soon. I hope. Haha!

Ooh and I found out something new today. It was so shocking at first, but glad to know I prepared myself very well for it. (Hmm, if only I could do the same for my tests). Rafael Nadal, yes Rafael Nadal, has a girlfriend people. Uh-huh, exactly; tell me about it.

(Aww, they look quite good together, actually. And for the first time, I'm actually NOT in denial. Aha people, TAKE THAT.)

(I think she looks quite pretty. At least she's not like some kind of all-glam queen, high-profile kinda person. C'mon, any girl who can keep her 3-year relationship with Nadal a secret, definitely earns my respect.)

She is soo lucky. Haha, yeah anyways on to my life now. There's like 3 tests next week - namely, Listening Comprehension, A.Math & Chemistry. (omg). Then the following week, E.Math, Physics & Social Studies. (omg). I can just faint, peepos. And speaking of A.Math, my dad taught me the Linear graphs yesterday. Ugh, THANK GOD? I barely understand what Ms L says in class anymore. It all goes like a bullet train like whoooosh and after the whole lesson, I find myself sitting around wondering what just hit me. No wonder the whole class is suffering. I mean, look at it this way, I think all of us can agree that we barely understand half the stuff that teachers teach in class, we just sit there nodding our heads and pretending to understand while our subconscious mind is going "huh? what?". But then again, maybe it's just me. Still, I'm convince that I should be home-schooled. I mean, sewing, embroidering and cooking won't do any harm, will they? Haha. Gosh when my dad teaches me math at home, it's as if there's this shroud of a light bulb above my head that lights up in an instant. At school, the light bulb malfunctions and I go "Err...?", then I'll end up getting scolded :/ It's all the light bulb, baby, it's all the light bulb. Ooooh and guess what I found!:

Magic Thinking Cap - Brain Hat

Colorful, anatomically correct brain on the cap - flip up the brim and expose the words,"Think, Think, Think..." when you need extra brainpower. 100% cotton. One size fits all.

^This is so cool! I found it at allheart.com. I'm strongggly considering buying one.

Anyways, I have 4 GG books sitting on my desk waiting to be read now. I'm reading the first one but I'm only halfway through and this is the 2nd day. Man Ir ead slow. Oh God, how many flaws can I have? You know what, DON't answer that question. Blair Waldorf is the coolest person ever, and it's okay if she doesn't get into Yale. Eww I dislike Serena ): Haha okay I'm so digressing now. GG is so addictive, be it a good or bad thing. Hahah and Cheryl and I were controlling the time-score machine during training and we were talking about how laughing strengthens abs and we shouldn't be made to do crunches/sit-ups anymore. So here's your ab-strengthening exercise for the day, peepos:

- When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
- Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson
- Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
- What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
- I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
- Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

^Stuff that makes you luff! (Wow, I'm getting good at this) Hahahahhaha!

NAZI.MUST.RECUPERATE.FAST

2008-06-15T09:37:00.000+08:00

Whoooooooo I'm back....!!! Again. Dude, I'm like super drained right now. Uh-huh. On physical and money terms. Hehh. Sorry about the late post reply Lynnie! Heheee!

Okay Thailand/Malaysia was quite well interesting, I guess. I mean there were a ton of nice people I got to meet on the trip, that made it especially nice. They were old at least ten years older than me, but still - nice. We didn't get to go to Phuket, unfortunately. But the other places were pretty nice too. Haha we spent a lot of time on the coach, similar to the UK trip. The whole of the first and a half days were spent in the coach from Malacca to Hatchai, then Treng. About 3 days plus in Thailand, yeah then travelled back down to Malaysia. I would have liked to spend more time in Thailand, cause then you'd get to buy more stuff. Oh wells((: The Malaysia trip was "lighter" in that sense. But we still travelled around a lot. But I like the hotels! I think the Penang one is the best. I'm so sorry I have no pictures! It's on Grammy's camera which I shall try to retrieve. I guess having 976 pictures on the UK trip wasn't really a great idea after all. ((: Yeah and OMG I ATE A LOT. I'm gonna die at training. For sure. Haha! The Thai lobsters are crazily huge, dude. They must be overweight or something because they were like THIS big. Man, I really need Grammy's camera now. Anyway, I ate one. Okay maybe half, cause I was sharing with my cousin.

And speaking about my cousin (whose name I shan't disclose because he's not supposed to eat gigantic lobsters), I found out a weird thing about him yesterday. Grammy bought a sandwich for us in the train and he gave me the white part. When asked why he said,

"... I don't understand why people eat fluffy things. The white part is so fluffy. I only eat the crust."

Dude! Like what?!! Hahah Nadhira said it's interesting. Hmm, okay yeap. I agree.

And sms-ing Nadhira during the trip was super funnn! Hahahah we talked about life+dudes (yeah I think you know what I mean). And I still find C.Ronaldo gross. No offense. I kept feeding her all the stuff they wrote in this trashy celebrity magazine I found in Malaysia.

1) "I'm addicted to making babies. I want to have at least 1 more," Heidi Klum
2) And Hulk Hogan's ex-wife, who is 48, is currently dating this 19-year-old dude. The mentioned dude used to go to high school with her two kids. Dude.

Sigh. The world is going around funny. Ooooh and big-big-big news! Guess who won the Roland Garros???

RAFAEL NADAL!!!!!

Whoooooo yayyy!!! Gosh-gosh-gosh that was one of the happiest day in my life((((((: I hope he wins Queens' too! And I so very-very-very enthusiastically hope he wins Wimbledon this year. I know Federer really wants it bad but please let Nadal win, God. Please, please, please(:

Dudes I think I should go sleep now so I can recuperate for Monday's training! Buhbye loves!((:

...

2008-06-03T14:59:00.000+08:00

Oh man I'm quite pissed off ): My mum doesn't allow me to go training tomorrow and I can't understand why! She keeps insisting that I'm too tired and that I have to conserve energy for Thailand. Then she threw my sports shoes into the washing machine. Like wth??! So now I can't even go to training cause my shoes will be wet anyway and I don't even know if the shoes will dry in time for the trip itself!! Grrrrrrrr! And now I can't pass the chocolates to everyone and Jiao Lian ))): I'm damm sad! Can you imagine 20 days without seeing them? I will surely reach the highest point of physical tiredness when I come back for training after a friggin 20-day break!!! DIEEEEEEEE! vjsfbgubgseufbgesr;oig aaaaarghhhhh!!! Oh God please help me!

UK, UK

2008-06-03T14:36:00.000+08:00

Returned to Singapore yesterday. SQ 321. Oh how I wanted to stay in the UK for much longer! I find it rather unfair that last year's batch had 18 days to work with while we only had 10. But then again, as I sit here staring at my reflection in the mirror right next to my computer, I conclude that I have nothing much to say about that. Nonetheless the trip was amazing! It would have been better without ______ as so I realised on the last day but I shan't let her dampen my spirit, that fake little twerp. I actually preferred "Omelette" and "Boiled Egg" to her. YEAH, surprising much.

I feel like listing all the stuff we did and the perks (and pins) that came from it, but I know for sure that much of our human race despise reading long, lengthy, descriptive posts. I suppose stuff that happened for 10 days in a foreign country = very long post. Henceforth, I shall abort my plans. I'll just upload all of the 967 pictures on facebook. I mean a picture speaks more than a 100 words, so I have heard. Haha! Kritika had already created the photobucket account. Whoooo! Phtobucket, here I come, yo. After which, MSN Messenger to add Lynnie and Val and all the other cool groupmates of mine((:

Anyhoo, the trip was quite cool. Did I mention this earlier? Filled with a whole bunch of camwhoring pictures, memorable quotes, OXFORD, wonderful sceneries and beautiful sights, OXFORD, sheeps and other farm animals, the whole countryside basically, the nice guided tours of the most fantastic literary places, OXFORD, the shopping, experimentation of the english chocolates (duh!) fish 'n' chips, JAMIE, the love-hate relationship between "omelette"&"boiled egg" and us, 152364850 in the ever-so-gross AIG shirts (sadly, I was unable to purchase the Arsenal scarf ): ), racists comments by some idiotic English punks on our Chinese friends (I told you there were pins), interesting coach rides (and the driver), OXFORD, the TUBE, drunk Englishmen, the London nightlife, the beautiful theatres and the marvelous plays, OXFORD, the YHA and the travelodges, the word "dude", picnics on the meadows, spotting of hot guys, singing (a lot), OXFORD, Rydal Mount, and of course London!

Yes world, now you know how I love the country (excluding its negativities) and I wanna go back there someday. Maybe permanently next time? Nah, I shan't raise my hopes too much. I mean, you just never know....

Thailand in a day's time. At least there, I'll have a laptop to use :D Gosh, whoever said traveling wasn't tiring should deserve a spank. And I only say this because of the big, gigantic pile of homework that the teachers gave us. They must have been possessed on the last day of school, I gather. Oh God. I have never seen so much homework in my whole, entire life. And probably after. Thus, I'm certain that my brain's possibility of bursting after the Thailand trip is equivalent to the possibility of me going to the toilet in the next hour. See, I'm not much a pee-ing person because I only go to the toilet in the morning when I wake up, at night before I sleep and at least once in between. However, I've been listening to The Wonders for the past hour and for some strange reason, their songs always make me pee. Therefore, I come to the conclusion that the possibility of it all is a 50-50.

Cheers, all. Cheers.

2008-06-02T16:32:00.000+08:00

You are 90% Smarter than a fifth grader.

You are smarter than a fifth grader. no doubt. There is no need for you to retake school. Keep on doing your brain excersise like sudokus and crossword puzzles, and you'll soon be smarter than a sixth grader! Good work!

are you smarter than a fifth grader?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

What stereotype do you belong to? Your Result: No stereotype not preppy yet not a complete loser. has good friends and doesn't revolve life around their looks or social status. All around good person. usually liked by everyone
Jock
Preppy
geek/nerd
Loner
Gamer
Punk
Emo
What stereotype do you belong to?

You are 79% virgin!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>...............well you are a about half a virgin. Im sure you have probably had your first kiss but i dont think your ready for anymore then that. Dont give in to peer pressure!

Are you a true virgin??
Take More Quizzes

Err WHAT?!

Your score on this personality test was 55%

Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

Personality Quiz
Take More Quizzes

Uhh, so the higher the better? Or the lower?

What should your first name be? Your Result: Casey A computer person, you like a little bit of sports here and there but you mainly like video games. You aren't too good with romance, but man do you like to party.
Ryan
Howard
Luke
Nathan
Moron idiot face
Leslie
Kassie
What should your first name be? Make a Quiz

What.... I don't fancy video games, dude.

What is your strongest emotion? Your Result: Love/Happiness It appears love and peace and prosperity is your strongest emotion. You want everyone to be just as happy as you don't want anyone hurt and will do anything to make everyone smile
Sadness
Hate/Anger
Jealousy
Greed
Guilt/Regret
Lust/Attention Whore
Fear
What is your strongest emotion? Create MySpace Quizzes

What type of person do you attract? Your Result: You attract Yuppies! You attract the very well-dressed, job oriented type of people. They usually have their finances together, are 'middle of the road' on most topics, generally happy with the 'main-stream' of things. If it is stability you are after, these are good people to attract, if you seek adventure, it may be time for an overhaul.
You attract geeks!
You attract models!
You attract unstable people!
You attract artsy people!
You attract rednecks!
What type of person do you attract? Quizzes for MySpace

Hahahahah! Quizzes are great for keeping your mind off things.

What's Your Best Quality? Your Result: Personality Your best quality is your personality! People like you because you are an all around good person. You have good manners and values. You also like to express your personal style and interests.
Intelligence
Ambitious
Loving
Out-Going
Sense of Humor
What's Your Best Quality? Take More Quizzes

Wow.

Your Language Arts Grade: 100%

Way to go! You know not to trust the MS Grammar Check and you know "no" from "know." Now, go forth and spread the good word (or at least, the proper use of apostrophes).

Are You Gooder at Grammar?
Make a Quiz

81% Joe Biden
80% Hillary Clinton
79% John Edwards
78% Barack Obama
75% Chris Dodd
64% Bill Richardson
55% Dennis Kucinich
54% Mike Gravel
53% Rudy Giuliani
50% John McCain
38% Mike Huckabee
37% Mitt Romney
37% Tom Tancredo
27% Fred Thompson
17% Ron Paul

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching QuizOh God.

You Are 26% Hypochondriac

While your physical health isn't always perfect, you don't freak out about it.
You know there's only so much you can do, and worrying doesn't change anything.

Are You a Hypochondriac?
Make a Quiz

Contrary to my dad thinking I'm a hypochondriac. See papa, I just want to get a full body check-up (just in case), you know.

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
The West
Boston
The Northeast
The South
The Inland North
Philadelphia
North Central
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Hmm, interesting.

You're 45% Nicknames Are

Smookiekins is your cute nickname, Flying Underpants is your superhero name, Ugly Worn-Out Shoe Lace is your Villain nickname, Trashy Saggy pants is your Monster nickname and Bumble Noodle Q-tipper is your all-out-weird-nickname.

What Nickname Suits Your Personality
Make a Quiz

O see.

What F.R.I.E.N.D.S. friend are you? Your Result: Rachel Green You are most like Rachel. You have a lot of good fortune, but have learned or will learn that friends are more important to you. You make mistakes and get yourself into embarrasing situations, but your true friends will always help you thru!
Monica Geller-Bing
Ross Geller
Pheobe Buffet
Joey Tribiani
Chandler Bing
What F.R.I.E.N.D.S. friend are you?

What Disney PRINCESS Are You? Your Result: Belle You love to read, you like to think about things, and you don't mind being different. You're into nice guys and ignore their outside features. You're always there for your family and care about others before yourself.
Jasmine
Ariel
Cinderella
Snow White
Sleeping Beauty (Arora)
What Disney PRINCESS Are You?

...

2008-06-02T15:46:00.000+08:00

Hehh I found this on Nadiah's blog. I was bored and I like quizzes, so here you go:

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Literature Nerd Does sitting by a nice cozy fire, with a cup of hot tea/chocolate, and a book you can read for hours even when your eyes grow red and dry and you look sort of scary sitting there with your insomniac appearance? Then you fit this category perfectly! You love the power of the written word and it's eloquence; and you may like to read/write poetry or novels. You contribute to the smart people of today's society, however you can probably be overly-critical of works. It's okay. I understand.
Drama Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
Social Nerd
Artistic Nerd
Musician
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Anime Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quizzes for MySpace

Haha I'm quite surprised, I guess. I can't believe I got Science/Math as third highest. I mean, I like Science but I totally despise math :/ And I can't believe I got drama as second. I mean I've always taken myself as an introvert really. Hmm, shocking.

UK for 10 days((:

2008-05-24T08:53:00.000+08:00

Life is nothing short of great! Well, only for today((:

UK in 6 hours 40 minutes!

Okay so today was reeally cool, okay! First I finally came to school after my pon-ing but not really pon-ing of school yesterday. Yeah, cool. And wonderfully but not really wonderfully I woke up like 1 and a half hours late for school(: I FELT LIKE DYING CAN! Haha I had to 'chiong' all the way through the shower, walking, everything. But then a nice cab came and I managed to reach school IN THE NICK OF TIME for the horrendous jam (not that it wasn't already horrendous) that was to follow. But papa had to experience the wrath of the jam later, though(: And speaking of papa, he got me the 229 camera )))): I WANT MY NIKON! See, frustrated father + cracked camera lens = Kodak 229 camera. Sigh.

Hahaha oh wells, at least a camera is even in the picture(:

UK in 6 hours and 35 minutes!

Then it turned out like practically one-third of the class didn't do A-math homework(: This is after the other one-third of the class pon-ed school today(: And I am utterly convinced that the other one-third (or at least most of them) went and copy. Hahaha Ms L is going to have 20-odd papers with the same answers(: INTERESTING. Anyhoo, since like half of the class today didn't complete their homework, she had to resort to a,

"I want it by today, girls! Sit down."

Instead of a,

"What?!! Go stand at the back of the class now!"

OR

"What?!! Go out out of the class now!"

Hahhahahahhah! Chaisy, Lauren & I were super SPARED! And Amelia the 'chiong' queen manage to complete everything la! Hahaha so our plans to stand at the back of the class together were more or less, faltered. Everyone completely slacked today! All our minds were tuned to holiday mode even before we started the day.

UK in 6 hours 25 minutes.

Oh, and Mrs G was more cool! E-math lesson turned to gossip session! Hahahah. Once again, INTERESTING. OH YEAH, AND SPEAKING ABOUT GOSSIP, LET ME GIVE GOSSIP GIRL A PIECE OF MY MIND!

STOOOOPID GOSSIP GIRL! Aaaaaaaaaah! How can you do this to me! The season finale is, by far, the ugliest thing I've ever seen in my whole, entire life! Take that! How could you put Nate and Serena side-by-side together again. After all that had happened???? Nooooooooo! And you broke Serena and Dan up?? WHYYYYYY?!!! And I actually wanted to see a little Nate+Vanessa because there was this mushy 2 minute scene and I wanted it to develop!! It's so interesting! But noooooooooooo. You wanted to crush all my hopes and dreams huh??? NATE AND SERENA DON'T GO TOGETHER! NONONOOOOO! Oh and if you're thinking this is the worst part, then let me give you another piece of my mind! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY 'CHAIR'!!!!!!!!! YES! CHUCK AND BLAIR! Oh, but noooooooooooo. You had to go and mess that up for me too. Chuck looked so nice towards the last part (before he got involved with ameliaaaa). And you just haaaad to take that away from me. You should thank the heavens that Ed Westwick is still hot((: But I'm not done yet!!! then you had to make Blair go fly in the helicopter with this eewww dude! Thanks a lot gossip girl, THANKS A LOT! And THAT was a sarcasm, btw!!!

UK in 6 hours 15 minutes.

Phewww. Okay, that was refreshing(:

Oooh and that wasn't the worst. Oh no... You ain't seen nothing yet. Man U freakinnnnnnng won yesterday!!!! I mean how the toot did THAT happen. Uggghhh that Christiano Ronaldo! I don't care if you think he's hot. I'm THOROUGHLY APALLED at that goal. bfjlgfeglevkf;oeangvlaigh!! Aaaaaaah! And why Drogba???? Why did you get yourself sent out???? Poor Drogba. Oh I'm no Chelsea fan now, don't get me wrong. But ANY team against Man U, is my friend((: Now, ANY team against ARSENAL, needs a spanking.

Yay! It's okay if you didn't win these year(: You'll win next year. I have FAITH in you! ARSENAL! ARSENAL! ARSENAL!

UK in 6 hours and 10 minutes.

I'll be back in 10 days! I love you guys(in general terms) (((:

Yeah, and shall I emphasise again? Life is good. Well, only for today((:

cowell & the haha

2008-05-15T12:16:00.000+08:00

This week has been oh-so-funny. Oh well, there were some perks and pins (as usual), but still VERY FUNNY.

SS TEST. I shan't talk much about it because the question was funny. Funnily horrendous. I hope I get at least 8 out of 13 this time, considering the fact that I prepared myself for a totally different type of question :\ Hahahha okay, now for quotes quotes quotes!:

Mdm Goh: Okay a ring. What is its centre of gravity?
Amelia: The diamond.

HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA.

Someone: ......... ecclesiastic .....
Amelia: What? What? Eccle- what? Sounds rich.

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH.

Cikgu Wahidah: Yes girls, do you know that Singapore has good censorship?
Me (to Wanda): Omg ya. Singapore has no 'playboy' you know.
Wanda: Huh? Where got? Got so many.
Me: No!
Wanda: Yes!
Me: No!
Wanda: Yes!
Aishah (to Wanda): Err, I think she's talking about the magazine.
Me&Wanda: OHH!

HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA.

See? And hey I have a new eye-candy, yo! He is sooo adorable!

NOAH GRAY-CABEY!

(Apparently, he's a piano prodigy since age 4!)

(& Micah Sanders on Heroes too! I never knew. Woah!)

Hahahah he's so cute, I feel like kidnapping, then adopting him or something. Oh, and did I tell you, I think Simon Cowell is gonna be the next James Bond. Yup.

Cowell. Simon Cowell.

HAHHAHAHAHHAHAH.

Errr.

2008-05-11T04:39:00.000+08:00

Warning: This post is going to be a superficial one, since nothing interesting has happened recently. Please skip if you don't have the time(:

Well lemme see, this whole week has been quite errr... Yeah, and 'errr' itself is an adjective in its own right, in this case. Friday was (no doubt) one of the most strangest days in my life. I've never experienced an overwhelming number of bad things and 'errr' things happening to me on the same day. It was like a "whooosh!"/"in your face!" kinda day. On a bad note, I got totally screwed with regards to my grades. I had like 4 periods in a row, 4 test papers returned in a row, and then 4 disappointing marks in a row. On a good note, I didn't fail anything (yay!). On a bad note (once again), I didn't quite achieve my expectations. I was most disappointed for e-math. I felt like I really tried that time. Focused? Yeah, I was. I'm still figuring out why I still scored badly, though :/ And for higher malay, AARGHHHHHHHH! I guess after getting tops for quite a while, it's frustrating to drop like what? 3 places? bgfeiubglkebfgolieohgrlouatglohgtnoljtrhpinbtg;osiaj!

Yeah, that summarises this whole post, "bgfeiubglkebfgolieohgrlouatglohgtnoljtrhpinbtg;osiaj!"

Haha and SS lecture afterwards was interesting and errr at the same time. Haha it was damm embarrassing, but I shan't go into detail(: Literature trip meeting afterwards was quite fun! We got really really hyper over singing, rehearsing poetry bang and THE VENDING MACHINE! Hahahaha I find it amazing how the vending machines are instant celebrities in school now. It was so funny, I tell you! It was like a herd of girls running full speed, one storey down, to the vending machine near the Khoo Audi. Haha and the poor thing got constructively criticised by Kritika.

Kritika: What kind of vending machine doesn't have M&Ms? It's so stupid. This is so disappointing.

Hahahah Krit! And Sitoh didn't know how to get the drinks from the vending machine.

Someone: Pull that thing up!
Me: Sitoh! What is wrong with you, Sitoh?
Sitoh: Aiya! I don't know lah!

Hahahhahah Sitoh is damm funny man. I can still remember her famous line when we were in Sec 1,

Someone: Sitoh, do you want to re bond your hair?
Sitoh: What colour?

HAHAHHAHAHAHH! Omgoodness! Now you know why I said it was such an errr day(:

The trip briefing for parents afterwards was quite okay, I guess. And mama made me run constantly for like 10 minutes, trying to find her. She was happily seated next to papa in the lecture theatre during that 10 minutes :/ Sigh. And the briefing was conducted by this lady who was really tall (until I realise that her heels were like THIS tall). Anyways, the agency's name is STA Travel. It sounds nice(: An apparently, it has like 10268549320 number of schools as its clients in Singapore. Interesting.

Hahhahah and this whole post is, hence, summarised by this:
bgfeiubglkebfgolieohgrlouatglohgtnoljtrhpinbtg;osiaj!, Sitoh and the Vending Machine.

Hollywood's Not America

2008-05-09T10:27:00.000+08:00

I really think I need to blog more often:/

For starters, I think things have been okay now. Things are going slow now.. At least I think so. Report book? One word, disastrous. My L1R5 is a freakking 24 for those of you who don't know. Haha the reason for broadcasting this is that I think it's really horrendous and unacceptable. Hopefully, this will shame me enough to improve by at least 10 points for CA2. Hmm, but then again, it's not as if I have a choice. Heh.

I watched the Joy Luck Club just now. Considering the fact that I may never come to touch the book itself, I decided to watch it. Yupp. It's really nice, I feel. Other than the fact that tears were lining my cheeks every few minutes of the whole 2+ hour movie, I would say that there's a lot of good stuff to it. It's the kind of movie that relieves the old soul(: I might even watch it with Mama over the weekends. What other present can there be except tears (happy ones, not the ones you shed when you watch Hindustani movies haha), a whole box of tissue paper, SOILED tissue paper and 'jemput-jemput' stuffed in our mouths. Haha, yes people we watch movies the malay way. No popcorn, just hot, home-made 'jemput-jemput'! Oh and I was going to watch Hitler! But the disc is in DVD format and my DVD drive is screwed by some wires or what-nots): I need to watch Hitler man! Don't get me wrong, now. I'm no pro-Hitler activitist. It's just the name that attracts me, kind of like shiny stuff too(: Well duh, any fool can see that. Nazi(rah)-Hitler. Hitler-Nazi(rah)? Heh.

Speaking of Hitler, I've been doing some imformal type of self-reflection lately and I realise, for some strange reasons, that I'm very attracted to politics. Politicians (NOT THEIR SONS, AHEM-AHEM HAHA), political issues, current affairs, constitutional monarchies etc... It's so strange because I want nothing to do with politics. I mean c'mon, ME? A POLITICIAN? Yeah, I think you'd rather have your guts sucked out, right? Haha. Despite this, I still wanna learn politics! There's an art to it, I believe. People tell me being a politician can be morally decaying, but hey I'm just LEARNING about them right? I don't suppose there's anything wrong about it. And with that double-degree aim in mind, I think political science has a good chance of being one of them. I wonder if we learn about constitutional & absolute monarchies in political science... I don't know anyone doing political science at the moment, other than my religious teacher. But I's switch to another religious learning centre now, so yeah....

Let's go to a lighter topic now. I'm leaving for UK in 2 weeks time, yo! Haha, I can't wait for some reason. Speaking of the UK trip, here's a sample from our due 'informal-poetry-bang' performance(:

Ah! Ah! Ah ah ah -
Ah claim the right to face, I claim the right to space,
I CLAIM THE RIGHT TO EVERYDAY in upper case,
I claim the right to name, I claim the right to flame,
Though I know that no one's given me the right to claim.
I claim the right to dream - theme, scheme, extreme!
Let me sing of your voice which is your own to redeem!
And I claim your right not to listen to mee -
I respect that!

The first cut is the deepest?

2008-05-02T10:00:00.000+08:00

I think xanga misses me now. Hahaha, I dumped it. Kinda. I haven't blogged for like a month plus. I guess the effects of no-blogging really gets to some people. Exhibit A: moi! Well, I guess I'm a living testament that being 15 and having to bottle up ALL your feelings through a difficult stage in life will cause you to eventually crack. Big time. Ever felt like you've had it till HERE and you'll explode ANYTIME? Yeah, I guess that's pretty much what I'm feeling now.

I don't know how to feel anymore. About stuff, about me, about things, about my problems, about stuff, et cetera. I feel like I'm bearing the weight of the world on my shoulders, you know. Like literally. Yeah imagine having that, and the family&friends&self problems piled up on top of that. Life really has no mercy, I've come to conclude. These days, I feel like I'm out to fend for myself. Every single time. It's as if I've been thrown into the wild or something. This year has been a very emotional year for me. I don't really mean it all in a negative light. Good stuff have happened as well. But if I were to put them on the opposite sides of a balancing scale, then my God, how that scale will tip unconditionally to the negative side. I feel at a lost every single day now. Every single day. I try to comfort myself by thinking that everyone else goes through this same problem as me, but I guess that temporary bunch of lies have faded away with time. To tell you the truth, this is what most people think of me:

IN A POSITIVE LIGHT:
The happy-go-lucky girl who is always happy all the time and never gets offended.

THEN THE NEGATIVE ONE:
The lazy, carefree girl who doesn't put effort into anything.

I feel very sad. I know that we're all human beings and we all have our own opinions, but from what I have experience these opinions hurt me a lot sometimes. Some people think that their opinions are safely tucked and hidden inside of them, but they're wrong. It's easy to spot all of these stuffs. From their actions, their body language, the way they talk to you, their words, the little facial expressions they make that they don't think anyone notices. Just to name a few. I wake up each day saying "thank God" that I'm still alive and "God is great" for all that is going to happen to me that day. I don't have anything against anyone, because I choose to leave it to God. If they do good, then I pray to God to bless them. If they do bad, then I pray to God to led them back to kindness and goodness. But still, despite all of these, I still feel down. Life is hard on you, I've learn to accept that. But accepting does not mean that I have to give in to it, does it?

Yesterday, for instance, was the saddest day of my life so far. Have you ever had that feeling when you're really trying very hard although you're still not doing well, and then someone just tells you blatantly that you don't do well because you're lazy? Yeah, that was exactly what had happened. Ms S came into class and she awarded prizes to the top 5 girls in English. I was quite disappointed I wasn't among the top 5 because I'd expected to be. I mean I wasn't slacking that badly in English or anything, so yeah (this isn't the super bad part). Then Ms S started talking about girls who have done well. She started briefly explaining her reasons for sitting some of us beside certain people.

Ms S: Another good pair is N and J. J is very strong in her maths and sciences and N, you're strong in what?"

This is the sad part, PART I. I mean hey if you needed to say that, why in front of everyone? And in that kind of tone? I didn't feel it at the moment, so I just gave a small laugh to make it seem like a joke.

Ms S: N, I heard form some teachers that you don't have a positive attitude in class. Is this true? I was very shocked when I heard this."

Seriously, like wth. My heart was going dubdubdubdub. My immediate reaction was to say, "Huh? No...." like I always do when I hear some bullshit. But then I remembered all the times I've slept in class at the beginning of the year and so I asked

N: Huh? What do they mean?"
Ms S: I don't know. Are you lazy?
N: No
Ms S: Do you hand in your work on time and properly?
N: Yes.. I always hand in my work.
Ms S: Do you pay attention in class?
N: Errr.. Okay that last part...

It's true that I don't always pay attention in class and that I feel restless at times. But I definitely try not to! I mean, I haven't slept in class for like so long. And I know I was struggling at the beginning of the year, juggling basketball, school and other stuffs so I slept in class lotsa times. I try not to know. For a long time. I really really try, or should I say TRIED. No one seems to get it I guess. Also, I don't believe me not paying attention in class is the reason they made that comment. I mean, come on, no one pays full attention in class ALL the time. Not even the top students in class. We're students, all the same. In fact I don't think we as humans pay attention to every single thing at ALL times. But the whole point of this is that I'm just quite disappointed that teachers come to conclusion about you sometimes. (Or maybe judge you by the cover just because I'm a basketball player in school). I mean, if you really had to tell me that you don't like the way I behave or the way I am, at least tell it straight to my face right? Put yourself in my shoes people, would you rather want someone to tell you stuff straight to their faces, or have some other people know about it and then broadcast it to the whole class before telling it straight to you. I feel really betrayed by this whole system, I guess. I really do. This was a gigantic blow to me, you know. But at the end of it all, I've come to the conclusion that this is just another life lesson for me. Someone once told me that, "You don't have to care about what people say. The more they talk, the more tired they get and they'll eventually stop."

Get over it, N. You live, you learn.